A Promise Worth Keeping
by beatlesfan931
Summary: Goemon and Omitsu have been friends all their lives. But who would've guessed that chasing a lovesick nun would bring them closer than ever?
1. How it all Began

Author's Notes: After over 6 months of crippling writer's block...I have returned. Read the Author's Notes at the beginning of "A Vengeful Darkness"; everything I said there still stands.

I'm pretty sure this story won't be as epic or as long as AVD, but hopefully it'll still be to your liking. Feedback and patience are greatly appreciated. Thank you, and enjoy the story.

--

"Heh, look at the little baby with the fat head!"

"I don't know where you came from, but around here it's not such a good idea for stupid fathead babies to wander the streets alone."

"Aw, look at that, the wittle baby's starting to cry. What's wrong, can't you handle a little teasing?"

"H-Hey, quit it! Ow!"

At the behest of her father, the eight-year-old girl had ventured out onto the streets of Oedo Town alone in an attempt to find some friends in her new home. Her joyful optimism was quickly replaced with unbearable horror as she found not young, happy playmates, but three of the meanest teenagers this town had to offer.

The young girl shrieked and cried as the bullies poked and pushed her. One of them shouted "Ha, listen to the baby squeal!", which earned him a chorus of roaring laughter from his friends.

The three hooligans continued pushing their helpless victim around, cackling with delight as they heard her plea with them to stop and saw tears well up in her sad eyes. Just as one of them thought he could easily do this all day, his actions were brought to a sudden halt as a small, hard projectile hit the back of his head. After motioning to his cohorts to temporarily cease this highly entertaining activity, he turned around to see a boy, approximately the same age as their own victim, staring angrily at them and tossing a small rock into the air.

Upon realizing that the boys were no longer harassing her, the girl looked up to see what had so effectively diverted their attention. If she had been in a happier mood, she may have burst into a fit of giggles upon seeing this newcomer. Her first thought was that his head looked a bit like a squat pineapple, with short spikes of hair shooting out in every direction. He was dressed almost completely in red, a gi like the ones she had seen martial artists in the movies wear.

Although he was frowning, the young boy earned only mocking laughter from the bullies he was wordlessly threatening. The one who had been hit in the back of the head finally spoke up. "Beat it, kid. Unless you wanna join your little friend here in all the fun."

Instead of turning around and running away, the boy simply glared at the three bullies. "Leave her alone," he said, picking up a stick and brandishing it like a sword. "Or I'll make you leave her alone."

"Ha, is that so? Well, come on over here and make us, then!" No sooner had the words escaped his lips than he was doubled over in pain. With a deafening yell, the boy in the red gi had run forward and jammed the stick right into the bully's stomach. He whacked the other two with his stick, dodging grabs and punches as he went.

With an enthusiastic smile on her face, the girl watched this ninja boy weave between his attackers, screaming madly as he punished them for their cruel behavior. She stood up and brushed herself off so she could cheer him on, but by the time she had gone back to watching the fight, the tables had turned drastically and the boy was writhing in pain on the ground, his makeshift weapon shattered next to him. The girl gasped and shook her head in disbelief.

"Hey, fathead," one of the teenagers called out to the wide-eyed girl. "You're lucky this little punk came along and took an extra-hard beating for you. I guess we'll leave you alone...for now." He grinned evilly and waved, kicking the boy in the side before turning around and walking off with his friends, all three of them roaring with laughter.

The girl ran over to her knight in the red gi and helped him sit up. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly.

"Pfft, sure, I'm fine. Those three weren't that tough."

"Are you sure?" She touched an especially dirty part of his cheek, causing the boy to wince. "See, you're hurt!" The girl brushed the dust off of his cheek and kissed it tenderly.

The boy blushed a bit, but quickly snapped out of his stupor. "Ew, gross!" he exclaimed disdainfully.

She frowned at this ungrateful outburst. "It's not gross! My Mommy told me that if you get hurt, a kiss will make it all better. So I'm helping you, like you helped me."

"Aw, it was nothing. I couldn't just stand there and watch those jerks push you around like that."

The girl smiled and hugged him tightly, which resulted in more blushing from the boy. "Well, thank you. Heehee, you're like my knight in shining armor."

"Ninja, actually. I wanna be a great ninja when I grow up!"

The girl giggled and smiled at her ninja in shining armor before remembering why she had come outside in the first place. "Oh, I just moved here, by the way. We should be friends!"

"Yeah, sure! As long as you stick with me, I'll protect you from bullies like that."

"Yeah, I'll be sure to protect you, too! We should make a promise to keep each other safe forever and ever!"

The boy snickered, but nodded after a few seconds. "All right, it's a promise. From now on, we're friends, and we'll watch out for each other no matter what happens."

The girl grinned and clapped her hands excitedly before coming to a sudden realization. "Oh, I don't think I know your name..."

"Call me Goemon. And you are?"

"Omitsu. My name is Omitsu."


	2. Business as Usual

It was business as usual at the local teahouse. The place was packed with rowdy customers. The men ogled Omitsu, the waitress, and their wives slapped them when they realized what their husbands were looking at.

It was true that Omitsu was quite the beauty. Any man in town would admit that she was the loveliest lady they had ever seen, assuming their significant others were out of earshot. With an irresistible childlike face, naturally rosy cheeks, and smooth brown hair that seemed to glow in the light, Omitsu had indeed been blessed. And although she appreciated the influx of compliments she received from hopeful suitors and casual admirers alike, she didn't particularly care for the drama and other trouble her looks often caused for her and others.

"Oi! Omitsu!" A tall, gangly man sitting with one of his friends waved at the waitress and beckoned her forward. She sighed in exasperation when she realized she had been summoned by one of her least favorite regulars.

"What can I get for you, Kichiro?" she asked unenthusiastically, making sure to avoid eye contact.

"Aw, come on, Omitsu! Is that any way to treat one of your oldest friends? Remember what I did for you when you first came here all those years ago?"

"I remember you called me a fathead and beat up the first person that tried to make you stop."

Both customers erupted in raucous laughter. "You mean that little punk Goemon? You can hardly call that 'beating up,' Omitsu. We just taught him a little lesson for trying to ruin our fun. We went easy on him. And I promise you, I never would've called you a fathead if I had known you would grow up to be so hot."

Omitsu tried her best to hide her anger while repeating her first inquiry through gritted teeth. "What can I get for you, Kichiro?"

"Oh, that. I don't really know yet. I just wanted to see your beautiful face up close for a little while. I'll call you back here when I've figured out what I want." He gave her butt a quick squeeze and went back to perusing the menu.

A thoroughly irritated Omitsu jumped a bit and suppressed a shriek. Kichiro was a perfect example of the type of customer she hated dealing with on a daily basis. "Right," she said in a low, vicious tone that her giggling customers failed to notice. "Why don't I get you some tea while you look over the menu?"

"That would be great, Omitsu. Thank you."

Omitsu nodded and walked to a nearby tea tray with her fists clenched. How dare that pathetic excuse for a human being, that pig, constantly insult her best friend like that? After all he had done for her, all he had done for Japan, she believed that she could never comprehend why people weren't bowing at the feet of him and his fellow ninjas whenever they walked by. Not a day passed by where she didn't think of the incident Kichiro had brought up. Not a day passed by where she didn't thank her lucky stars that someone as great as Goemon had come to her aide and kept her from running home crying to her parents and begging them to move back to their old home further west, away from these people who had treated her so horribly for no good reason. Goemon had given her renewed hope and provided her with the comfort that she so sorely needed.

"Here's your tea, boys," Omitsu said as she slowly approached their table, a tray with two small cups of green tea delicately balanced on her hands. An evil grin flashed across her face as she tipped the tray ever so slightly towards the table, causing the cups to slide down and spill their contents all over the two screaming, flailing customers. "Oh dear, I'm so sorry," she said with fake guilt. "Let me get a towel for you." She snickered to herself as she turned around and walked, at a pace much slower than usual, to the kitchen.

On her way there, her mind wandered, as it usually did, to one person: Goemon. Since she had first met him 15 years earlier, he had proven more times than she could count just how reliable he really was. He was always there to protect her from harm or save her from the clutches of the strangest villains, and for that she was eternally grateful. But something was eating her up inside, something that manifested itself in a single thought that made her sigh to herself as she stood otherwise motionless in front of a stack of dish rags. "_Why can't I ever do anything to help him like he's helped me?_"

She went over the events of the past 15 years in her head. She couldn't think of even one instance where she had done more to help him than provide him with a useful item, a fairly obvious tidbit of information, or even just encouragement. Not once had she done anything more significant for him than healing any minor wounds he had incurred, and she hadn't even done that in quite a while.

"I feel so useless," she whispered to herself with a sigh. It was at that moment that she remembered why she had been standing in that exact spot for so long, and realized she had been there for over a minute. She picked up the top rag on the pile and returned to the tea-soaked table. "Okay, let's get this all cleaned up..."

--

Her shift now over, the young waitress scrubbed at a particularly stubborn stain in her favorite frying pan. Her boss insisted that she go home.

"But I'm not done here, sir."

"Doesn't matter. You're a hard worker, which is great, but you've obviously had a really trying day. You can take that with you and finish cleaning it tonight if you really want to."

Omitsu sighed and nodded before drying off the pan and heading out the front door of the teahouse. As much as she enjoyed her work most of the time, it almost always left her feeling exhausted. At least she had something to look forward to today; she was supposed to meet Goemon for dinner.

At least, that was her plan. Her evening was ruined the instant she stepped outside, when her eyes saw nothing but a bright flash of light. When she moved her arm down away from her eyes, she was horrified to see that she was not on the ground, but in the air. More specifically, she was in a sturdy steel cage hanging under some sort of ship that was rocketing off to the north. On top of that, there were several other cages containing beautiful women hanging from under this same pod like some sort of demented mobile. Each of them was shaking at the bars, trying their best to free themselves from this twisted trap.

And at that moment, Omitsu did what had practically become instinctual in these types of situations over the years: she screamed. "HELP ME, GOEMON!!"

--

"I'm telling you, it's not a date! If it was, I definitely wouldn't let you come with me."

"Really, Goemon? Dinner alone with the most beautiful girl in town. Sounds like a date to me."

Goemon scowled at his portly, blue gi-clad friend, Ebisumaru. There were times when the big oaf really got on his nerves, and this was certainly one of them. "This isn't the first time we're having dinner together. Why can't two people eat together without other people insisting it's a date? And if you were so sure this was a date, why on earth did you want to come with us so badly?"

"Well, I was never one to turn down free food," Ebisumaru replied, licking his lips in ravenous anticipation.

"What?! Who said anything about this being free? If you think you're mooching off of me again, you've got another thing coming, buddy!"

It was at that moment that Goemon heard it. The earsplitting scream was all too familiar to him. Such a sound always fired him up because it always meant that his longtime friend was in trouble. And that was something he could never tolerate.

Goemon stopped suddenly and turned to his friend. "Sounds like Omitsu's in trouble again, Ebisumaru," he said as he scanned the nearby area, eventually spotting the escaping ship. "There! That's gotta be it! Let's go, Ebisumaru!" Goemon ran forward, deftly weaving his way through the throngs of onlookers scattered throughout the streets.

"Hey, wait for me, Goemon!" Agile movement was much more difficult for Ebisumaru than it was for his spiky-haired friend, but he tried his best to keep up anyway. This involved frantic flailing of the arms and occasionally blurting out "Excuse me", "Sorry", or "Hey, nice outfit" to the people who were unfortunate enough to be in his way.

"It's that crazy nun again, it's gotta be!" Goemon shouted back when he and his friends had cleared most of the crowd.

"Huh? Crazy nun? What are you babbling about, Goemon?"

"You know, the really weird one that worked for Jurokubei...Umm, what was his name again? Oh, right, Bismaru! Bismaru's got Omitsu again!"


	3. The Old Man and the Clowns

Despite giving it their best efforts, the two ninjas realized that they wouldn't even be able to get close to Bismaru's ship, the atrocious-looking and atrociously named Bismaru Elegant. Goemon slowed down to a stop and bent over, breathing heavily in his best attempts to catch his breath. "Damn it. There's no way we'll be able to catch him like this. Do you have any ideas, Ebisumaru?" No response. "Ebisumaru?"

Goemon turned around and wasn't surprised to see that Ebisumaru had given up the chase long before he had. "What was that, Goemon?" he called out between shallow breaths.

"I said," Goemon huffed as he walked towards his tired companion, "do you have any ideas? You know, about what to do next. It doesn't look like we're gonna be able to catch him on foot."

"Well, the answer is obvious, isn't it? We have to go see him. We're not too far from his place."

"Go see him..." Goemon repeated. "I guess even you can have flashes of genius every once in a while. Let's get moving."

Before Ebisumaru could protest, his more active partner was already running off. "_Why doesn't he ever want to just take a breather first?_"

--

"And that's what happened, Wise Man."

Goemon had just finished explaining the situation to a man in his 90s with a long, white beard that almost seemed enough for him to have earned his nickname of "Wise Man". But the name was substantiated by a mental vault of nearly endless knowledge of the occult and mechanical know-how. It was the two greatest results of this know-how that Goemon and Ebisumaru were here to borrow.

"Hmm...Well, of course I'll allow Sasuke to go with you," the Wise Man said, indicating a short ninja-like robot with a green tunic and a ponytail of blue hair that stuck straight up in the air. "Impact, though...I'm not too sure about."

"What?!" Goemon and Ebisumaru exclaimed at exactly the same time.

"Sorry, but you guys used him somewhat...irresponsibly last time. The Lord of Edo is still pretty upset about his castle."

Goemon rolled his eyes. The giant robot, Impact, had come out of a time warp and landed right on top of Oedo Castle during the incident in question. "I told you, that wasn't our fault, Wise Man."

"Doesn't matter. The point is, he's furious, and I don't blame him. He knows Impact is my creation, and I have to take full responsibility for his actions. I mean, for all I know, you guys may end up going through a number of towns, destroying everything in your path every time you get behind the wheel of Impact from now on. I wouldn't seem very responsible if I let people like that pilot a 50-foot robot, now would I?"

Goemon grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Eheheh...Don't be ridiculous Wise Man. We'd never do anything like that." He coughed and mentally added, "_I guess he really doesn't know..._"

"Sasuke, can't you say something to get the old man to change his mind? Please?" Ebisumaru pleaded to his mechanical friend. With large, glossy eyes, Ebisumaru could create an expression on his face that would've been difficult for any normal person to resist. Too bad for him, normal people were a rarity in that time, especially among the self-proclaimed Ninja of Justice's acquaintances.

"Wise Man...Please reconsider," Sasuke said after going into a deep bow. "The only way we can chase Bismaru is by using Impact, and on top of that we have to hurry."

"Listen, Sasuke m'boy," the Wise Man began. "I know I can trust you, but these two clowns, well...I'm still not too sure if they're really intelligent enough to handle something like piloting Impact."

Before Goemon had a chance to even attempt to refute that claim, the front door burst open with a loud bang and a female voice shouting "Anybody home?". Mere seconds after that, a woman about the same age as Goemon with green hair tied back in a long ponytail ran into the room. "Ah, there you are. Wise Man, you've gotta let me borrow Impact for a while." She gave Goemon and Ebisumaru a quick look before addressing the Wise Man once more. "I guess those two can come along if they really want to."

"Ahem!" Goemon coughed rather conspicuously. "If you don't mind, Yae, Ebisumaru and I were here first to ask the Wise Man to let us use Impact. What do you need him for?"

Yae, a secret agent in a secret organization made up of secretive ninjas, brushed some hair out of her eyes before replying. "Well, if you must know, we just received some reports that wives, sisters, and daughters have literally disappeared into thin air while walking around town. Not too long after that, I saw a familiar menace flying through the sky, and what looked like cages dangling below it. I'm pretty sure it was that ugly robot owned by the nun that looks like Ebisumaru. (Ebisumaru scoffed and shook his head disapprovingly.) Anyway, it's impossible to catch him on foot, I have to use Impact."

Goemon had been making hand motions throughout the entire speech that were meant to hurry it along to its conclusion. When it finally arrived there, he wasted not a second before reiterating his point. "And that's exactly what we need him for, too!"

"Great, we'll do this together, then. So come on, Wise Man, can we have the conch shell?"

The Wise Man contorted his face as he weighed the pros and cons. "Well, I don't know...I don't want Impact and everything around him to be reduced to ruin. I mean, Goemon and Ebisumaru, they..."

"Don't worry, Wise Man. I'll keep an eye on them. You can trust me," Yae said, leaning forward with a wide smile and a wink on her face.

The Wise Man shivered happily and seemed to mentally fall to pieces when the kunoichi in front of him smiled and winked at him. "Oho, but I can never say no to a beautiful young lady! Here, take the conch shell, just, uh, stay out of trouble, will ya?" He reached behind his back and seemed to magically produce a large, white shell that he held out in front of him.

Yae shuddered a bit before taking the conch shell and giving it to Goemon. It had always been an unspoken rule of sorts that Goemon would hold on to it at all times. "Thanks, Wise Man," she said cheerfully. "Now, let's move!" She quickly turned around and ran out of the room and the front door, Sasuke following closely behind.

"Yae can be very convincing when she wants to be, huh?" Ebisumaru asked Goemon before they followed their two faster friends outside.


	4. Fateful Surprise

To the ninjas, there was nothing quite as exciting as piloting, or at least flying in, the giant mecha Goemon Impact, named and supposedly modeled after the one and only Goemon. Propelled forward by rockets on the bottoms of his tabi-and-sandal-style roller skates, Goemon and his companions could see towns, hills, valleys, lakes, and forests from hundreds of feet in the air. It was a truly exhilarating and empowering experience. The tallest buildings and trees looked like toys, the people like mere ants that crawled here and there, most of them fully unaware of what was going on high above them.

Suddenly, Yae pointed straight ahead excitedly. "Ugly nun robot at 12 o'clock!" She was right; Bismaru Elegant was now close enough to be seen easily, in all of its horrendous glory.

"All right, let's get him," said Goemon, the main pilot. He leaned forward as Impact accelerated and began gaining on Bismaru, fast. The pilot of the so-called "ugly nun robot" seemed completely unaware of all of this, however, and continued zooming ahead with no change in its speed or maneuvers.

This changed, of course, when Bismaru Elegant was made aware of the presence of a hostile force not far behind it. This event occurred in such a way that even an incompetent idiot like Bismaru would be able to notice: Impact pushed the pod from behind straight into the nearest mountain. This impact caused a considerable amount of shaking among the cages below; so much, in fact, that the cable holding one of these cages snapped, causing said cage to fall to the outcropping of rock that Impact was standing on with a loud crash and a louder shriek.

"Good going, Goemon!" Yae scolded as she smacked him in the back of the head. "It looks like we might've already got ourselves a casualty. I'd better go down there and make sure they're not hurt too badly." Yae shook her head in fervent disapproval as she boarded an elevator in the back of the cockpit that would allow her to disembark.

"Hey, wait a second! What about Bismaru?" Goemon shouted back. But it was already too late by the time he had made that statement and turned back around to face the front. Bismaru was already on his jolly way once again, flying almost due north. "Damn it...Well, hurry up, Yae."

Yae nodded and dropped straight down in the blink of an eye. The men, meanwhile, sat back and twiddled their fingers to stave off boredom, except for Sasuke, who had neither fingers nor the capacity to feel boredom. About a minute passed before they heard a shout from the ground below. "Hey, everybody! Get down here!"

"Is that Miss Yae...?" Sasuke wondered aloud as he craned his neck to look towards Impact's feet.

Sure enough, Yae was waving her arms before cupping her hands in front of her mouth and shouting again. "Didn't you hear me the first time? You should come down here! Especially you, Goemon!"

Ebisumaru snickered at Goemon as they prepared to descend. "Nyo ho ho, Yae seems pretty mad at you, Goemon. Again."

When Goemon, Ebisumaru, and Sasuke stepped outside onto solid ground, the first thing they heard was Yae. "All right, Goemon, I'm not mad at you. I just wanted you to see for yourself how bad things almost were." She motioned to the cage, which was mangled horribly in its plummet. Most of the bars were distorted in shape, and the door was ajar, bent, and nearly falling off its hinges. But what really caught Goemon's eye was the person sitting next to Yae, groaning softly and rubbing her forehead...

"O-Omitsu!"

Sure enough, the former hostage that now sat in front of them was the waitress Omitsu. Fortunately, she didn't appear to have sustained any serious injuries from the fall.

"Omitsu, thank goodness you're OK!" Goemon said. "We'll drop you off at the foot of the mountain so you can head back home."

Omitsu's blank, distracted look provided a stark contrast to Goemon's expression of elation at the sight of his friend safe and sound. A hundred thoughts ran through her mind, most of them having to do with the subject of her private musings at the teahouse that morning. Finally, she lifted her head and, shaking it for emphasis, spoke one word: "No."

Goemon and the others were taken aback. "Umm...okay, I guess we can take you back to Oedo--"

She stopped him from going any farther. "No, no, you misunderstand me. I'm not going back there. Not yet, anyway."

"Then...where do you want to go?"

"Well, isn't it obvious? I'm tired of being left out of these things."

Yae was the next to speak. "Wait, are you saying you...you want to come with us?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying! I want to go with you on this adventure!" Omitsu was beaming by this point.

The four ninjas, on the other hand, were staring wide-eyed and openmouthed at the waitress. Surely, this was a joke. Ebisumaru, possessing a mouth that often spoke completely of its own accord, articulated the thought that was on everybody's mind: "Are you nuts?!"

Omitsu was shocked. "What?! H-How dare you! I'm not crazy, I'm serious. I want to go with you! Goemon, if you don't mind..."

Goemon nodded before smacking the back of Ebisumaru's head. He turned back to face Omitsu almost immediately. "Even if he is an idiot, he's got a point, Omitsu. I mean, these things are never easy. You could get hurt."

"Well, so could you! Do you really think it's so easy for me to sit there and worry about you?"

"Well, at least you'd be safe."

"Miss Omitsu, please reconsider," Sasuke said. "This will most likely be extremely dangerous. How will you defend yourself?"

"Umm..." Omitsu looked around frantically for something right there that she could use as a weapon. Suddenly, her eyes fell on the perfect object. She picked it up and held it up triumphantly. "I'll use this as a weapon!"

"A frying pan? Are you serious?" Goemon scoffed.

"Oh? Would you like to experience its strength firsthand, Goemon?"

"Uh, n-no, that's all right..."

"Anyway, I can help with the cooking. Wouldn't you guys like that?" Omitsu asked with an innocent smile.

"You know, come to think of it," Yae thought aloud, "it would be nice to have another skilled cook around. Even you guys can't object to that." It was no surprise that Ebisumaru was licking his lips upon coming to that same realization.

It was indeed difficult to come up with an objection to that, so Goemon quickly changed the subject. "Omitsu, why do you want to come with us all of a sudden? I never noticed you saying these things before..."

"Come on, Goemon," Omitsu replied. "You of all people should be able to figure that out. Remember when we were kids? Specifically when we first met?"

"I remember I came to your rescue when some idiotic teenagers were pushing you around."

"Well, yes, that's true. But I was actually thinking of what happened right after that."

"Umm...You kissed me."

Omitsu's eyes narrowed. "After that, Goemon."

Goemon sighed. He knew the conversation would inevitably come to this point. "Listen, Omitsu, I don't want you to put yourself in danger for my sake. We were kids back then, there's no way we could've known what would happen..."

Meanwhile, Ebisumaru, Sasuke, and Yae had already stopped listening to this conversation and were having one of their own. "Do either of you know what they're talking about?" Sasuke asked the other two.

"No idea. What about you, Ebisumaru? You've been friends with Goemon longer than either of us have."

"I'm not sure, either...Wow, I can't believe Omitsu kissed Goemon when they were kids..."

"Whatever it is, it seems to be an important event in their early lives."

"That's true. Omitsu seems to hold it in especially high regard. And it seems that Goemon was pretty chivalrous when he was a kid, too."

"Say, do you think it was a kiss on the lips? Or just on the cheek?" It was now Yae's turn to hit Ebisumaru on the back of the head.

"...and that's why I want to go with you so badly. See, Goemon? It's time for me to keep up my end of the promise."

"But you are keeping up your end of the promise, Omitsu!"

"But I want to do more!"

"Wow, are you two still arguing?" Yae interjected. "While we're standing here, Bismaru is getting away. Let's get moving! Omitsu, you can come, too. DON'T argue, Goemon. If she feels so strongly about this, I don't see why she shouldn't come along. By the way, you wouldn't happen to have any idea where Bismaru is going, would you, Omitsu?"

"Umm..." Omitsu tried to think, but was interrupted by the tractor beam that shot out of Impact's mouth and pulled her up. It took some time for her to get used to this sensation and regain her balance, but by the time this happened, she was almost inside the giant mecha. "Actually, I think I do have an idea," she said as she sat in an empty seat in the cockpit. "She said that she was taking us to 'a mountain of fright,' and that she hopes we're not afraid of ghosts or anything like that."

"Ah, I bet Bismaru's going to Mt. Fear," Yae said. "It's way up north, and it's said to be endowed with great spiritual power."

"All right, we've got our destination, then," Goemon mumbled as he pulled some levers and pushed some buttons in preparation for takeoff. "By the way, Omitsu, just so you know...I'm pretty sure Bismaru is a man."

Omitsu was so shocked by this revelation, she was having trouble forming words. "A man? N-No, that can't be. I mean, she introduced herself as Sister Bismaru..."

"Doesn't matter, that's just one of his many weird qualities. Bismaru's a freak in denial, so just trust me when I say it's a he."


	5. The Dirt on Goemon

Author's Notes: It's worth noting that I bumped the rating of this fic up to T (albeit a light one) because of this chapter. You have been warned.

--

It was smooth sailing for quite a while. There was no sign of Bismaru Elegant, but this made sense now that the nun piloting it was aware that he was being followed. Besides, actually seeing him was no longer necessary since the ninjas had already figured out where he was likely heading.

Ebisumaru opened his mouth wide and yawned rather loudly. "How much farther?" he asked as he scratched himself absently.

"Umm..." Yae studied a map that was displayed on the console in front of her for a few seconds. "It shouldn't be much farther."

"It sure is snowing hard around here. I can barely see what's going on in front of us..." Goemon observed. "I don't think I can see Bismaru even if he was just a few feet away."

No sooner had Goemon finished saying this than Impact was struck from above by a powerful force. Everybody screamed as they plummeted down to the earth, spinning as Impact came closer and closer to diving headfirst into the snow. Goemon tried his best to pull up out of this mess, but to no avail. Impact was falling too fast and had been hit too hard for the crash landing to be prevented. Seconds after landing on his head, Impact was on his back. Smoke and sparks rose from the now immobile mecha.

Meanwhile, inside the mecha, all five of its passengers had been thrown out of their seats and lay in a tangled heap at the back of the cockpit. Five distinct groans sounded from this disorderly mess, showing that each member still held onto life, even if it sounded like the grip was rather tenuous.

"Unn..." Goemon groped in the darkness in an attempt to learn more about his surroundings and solve the mystery of why he felt so uncomfortable at that moment. "_What happened...?_"

"Eek! Whoever just touched me there, do it again and you're dead!"

"_Well, at least I know Yae's okay._" He quickly moved his hand away, and just in time. The emergency lights came on at that moment and illuminated the entire cockpit, showing just how much of a mess everybody was really in. Among other contortions and entanglements, Sasuke's arm had three bends in it, Yae's leg was intertwined with Omitsu's, and the waitress's other foot had found its way into Ebisumaru's mouth.

It took several minutes for them to break free of each other and crawl their way through the maze of machinery to the emergency exit, namely Impact's mouth. Yae was the first to emerge into the outside world and was greeted with a powerful gust of wind that sent her hair flying right into Ebisumaru's face. The Ninja of Justice sneezed loudly and rubbed his nose. "I don't know which is gonna irritate my nose more: the cold weather or Yae's hair."

Yae turned her head to give him a dirty look for a second before jumping down to the ground below. She was almost immediately followed by Ebisumaru, Sasuke, and finally Goemon. Omitsu, on the other hand, whimpered as she peeked over the edge and looked at the snow-covered earth below.

"It's all right, Omitsu. I'll catch you," Goemon shouted. He held his arms out to give her a target to aim for.

This offer did little to calm Omitsu's nerves, however. She gulped, took a deep breath, shivered from both the cold and sheer terror, and then finally took another deep breath before hopping off of Impact's head.

Goemon moved forward slightly, just enough to catch Omitsu in his arms. "All right, gotcha." Omitsu looked up at him and they exchanged a quick but friendly smile before Goemon seemed to snap out of a stupor and set her down. Ebisumaru, meanwhile, was giggling to himself the whole time he witnessed this scene. Goemon was just about to walk up to him and hit him on the back of the head when Yae beat him to it.

The kunoichi wasted no time in scanning the sky after rebuking her friend. "It must've been Bismaru that hit us..." she mumbled in a tone so quiet that the others had to lean in and strain their ears to hear her over the howling wind. "There! Those blinking lights! That's gotta be him!"

Sure enough, pale blue lights flashed on and off near what was most likely the top of Mt. Fear. The heavy snow made looking at distant sights an arduous task. ""Right! Let's start climbing!" Goemon shouted before trudging towards the mountain slowly and alone. It took him a few minutes to realize that nobody was following him. "What are you guys waiting for? Let's go!"

"Are you insane, Goemon?!" Yae shouted back. "There's no way we can climb up there in this weather." Her nearby shivering companions nodded in agreement.

"Well, we obviously can't use Impact. What do you suggest we do?"

"There's a town not too far from here. I suggest we spend the night there." The same companions nodded again, though much more fervently this time.

"B-But, we might lose him...Achoo!"

"See? Even you're in no condition for hiking. I'm heading to Festival Village. Anybody who wants to come with me is welcome to." Yae made her way through the storm, closely followed by Ebisumaru, Sasuke, and Omitsu. It took some time for Goemon, standing there alone and shaking, to swallow his pride and head off in the same direction.

--

"I...I hear music..."

"That doesn't surprise me. I'm sure there's a reason they call this place Festival Village. I just hope we don't get dragged into one."

"Well, at least it's not as cold or windy around here."

An audial blast of various instruments greeted the ninjas as they stepped through the entrance gate of Festival Village. Every person they could see was laughing and either dancing or playing a musical instrument as if they didn't have a care in the world. Many were dressed in outrageous costumes. Ebisumaru and Omitsu observed the festivities with glee in their eyes and voices, while Goemon, Sasuke, and Yae tried their best to slip by without being noticed. "Come on, guys, let's find a hotel and get out of the way," Goemon said. Yae and Sasuke nodded in agreement, but no affirmation was received by the other two. "Eh? Oi, Ebisumaru! Omitsu!"

Both the Ninja of Justice and the waitress were excitedly talking to a man wearing a tall and ornate headdress that swayed gently as it balanced precariously on his noggin. This swaying intensified slightly as he shook his head at them, causing them to stomp in protestation and beg him for something which he was apparently withholding from them. Goemon and the others moved closer to get a better idea of the context of this conversation.

"But why not? Please let us join in, it looks like so much fun!" Ebisumaru pleaded. He noticed his companions walking up and quickly addressed them. "Don't you guys want to join in the festivities?"

Before Goemon even had a chance to shake his head, the man with the festive headgear spoke. "These are the friends you were talking about? Well, there's no way I can let all of you join in on the dancing looking like this, a'ight? Every single one of you is wet and covered in some sort of smudge, a'ight? On top of that, Chubby tries too hard, Shorty's got a messed up arm, and Spiky just looks like he isn't in the mood to dance."

"Spiky" wanted to teach this guy a lesson, but couldn't bring himself to attack somebody with such a friendly demeanor. After all, he had been called far worse things. "Chubby", on the other hand continued begging. "Please? Pretty please?" It didn't take him long to make with his patented puppy-dog, sparkly-eyed look.

"Aw, ya know, I can't say no to a face like that." The man wrapped one arm around Ebisumaru and another around Goemon as if they were all old friends. "You seem like good people, so I'll tell you what I'll do, a'ight? Why don't you guys go to the local onsen and take a bath? You know, relax, clean up, all that good stuff. My treat, a'ight? This party's gonna be going on all night, so take your time and join in the fun as soon as you're ready, a'ight?"

"You know, a bath really would feel good right about now. And as long as it's free..." Yae started.

"Fine, we'll go to the onsen," Goemon interrupted. "But I'm not dancing!"

--

In the calm waters of a hot bath sat Goemon, Ebisumaru, and Sasuke. On the other side, separated by a tall partition, Yae and Omitsu relaxed in a similar area. All five of them sighed happily as they lounged in their respective pools, grateful for this respite.

Ebisumaru decided to start a chat with the other man and the robot sitting with him almost immediately after getting settled in. "See, maybe it's not such a bad thing that we don't really have good weather right now."

"What the hell are you talking about, Ebisumaru?!" Goemon snarled back. "Bismaru isn't just gonna wait for us to catch up to him again."

"Maybe, maybe not. Still, you should try to relax now that we're here, Goemon."

"Ebisumaru's right, Mister Goemon," Sasuke chimed in. "We have no other choice at the moment." The Clockwork Ninja then dipped so low into the water, it wasn't too long before the base of his ponytail was the only thing above the surface.

Goemon tried to follow their advice and began sinking in as well. It was silent for a few minutes, save for some quiet sounds of shifting water and muffled speech from the girls' side. Ebisumaru was the first to break the silence. "So, is it true that Omitsu kissed you when you two were kids?"

--

Meanwhile, Yae and Omitsu found themselves enjoying the much-needed soak as much as Ebisumaru and Sasuke (and certainly more than Goemon). Both had untied their hair and let it float gently in the water.

Omitsu was chin-deep in warm water when Yae began talking. "You know, I was kind of irritated when I figured out that you and Ebisumaru were trying to convince that guy to let you dance. But if you hadn't, we probably wouldn't be sitting here right now, so I guess I owe you one."

Omitsu giggled before replying. "Well, you're welcome. I bet you're a great dancer, Yae."

"No, not really. I think I'd rather just watch you and Ebisumaru have fun."

"Oh, come on, Yae," Omitsu pouted cutely. "You're such a skilled ninja, I'm sure you're a phenomenal dancer as well. Don't worry, you have my permission to dance with Goemon if you want to."

"What? Goemon? No way, Omitsu." The waitress stared at the kunoichi with obvious skepticism. "Seriously, I'm not interested in him in that way. At all."

"All right, if you say so..." Yae wasn't quite sure at the time, but she thought she saw a small smile flash across Omitsu's face.

"By the way, what's the deal with you and Goemon? What happened to you two when you were kids that makes you want to join us so badly?"

--

"So yeah, I went in there, did my thing, and got my just reward from the grateful victim." Goemon had just finished retelling the story of when he and Omitsu had first met. "It was nothing, really."

Ebisumaru was leaning forward, listening intently with a dreamy grin on his face. "That's pretty romantic..." he mumbled. "So, she kissed you?"

"Yeah. Right here." Goemon pointed proudly to his cheek.

"And is that it? Have you two ever kissed after that?"

"What is this, Ebisumaru, truth or dare? Why do you want to know?"

Ebisumaru giggled. "Just curious."

"Well, I'm not exactly one to kiss and tell...

--

Omitsu blushed and turned away shyly. "It...It's kind of personal...and kind of dumb..."

"Oh, that's okay, Omitsu. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to." Yae also felt embarrassed for bringing this clearly touchy subject up.

"Are you sure? I don't mind, it's just that I haven't told too many people about it."

"Don't worry about it, Omitsu. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." Yae dipped her face into the water for a few seconds and quickly brought her head back up, gasping for air as she did so. "Wow! That felt great!"

"Really? I wanna try. Let me see here..."

--

A loud splash and a sudden inhalation, followed by one of the girls saying "Wow! That was great!", reached the ears of the male ninjas.

"Eh? What's going on over there?"

Seconds later, the other girl said "Really? I wanna try. Let's see..."

Ebisumaru could hardly control himself. "All right, I wanna see, too! Help me up to the top of that wall, Goemon." Still completely naked, he got out of the water and began scrambling his way up the barrier.

"Are you nuts, Ebisumaru?"

"You're the one who's nuts, Goemon. There are two beautiful, naked ladies just on the other side of this wall. Can't you help a friend in need get a peek?"

"But you're gonna get in trouble for this. Again."

Unfortunately, the excited Ninja of Justice had already reached the top and pulled himself up just enough to see over the edge. "Never mind, Goemon, I've got it."

--

Omitsu spit some water out as she reemerged giggling from the water. "You were right, Yae. That was really nice!"

Both women smiled and giggled, until Yae suddenly stopped and pointed up at the wall with a shriek. "Ebisumaru!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Huh? Eek!"

Yae reached for a nearby bucket, but before she could grab it, Omitsu was hurling it towards the Peeping Tom known as Ebisumaru. It sailed up and over the barrier, missing Ebisumaru's head by inches and hitting something on the other side with a loud thump.

--

"Ow! What the heck was that?!" Goemon rubbed his sore temple and looked at the newly arrived bucket floating next to him with disgust.

Ebisumaru dropped back down to the floor and into the water with a huge grin on his face. "Wow, that was amazing, you don't know what you were missing, Goemon! They were both smiling and laughing about something, and I just knew they would look even better without any clothes on! Say, what happened to your head?"

"Never mind that, I've gotta show them what it feels like to get such a nasty surprise. Let's see here..." Goemon searched around for a potential projectile. Not the bucket, it would be too childish to use their own weapon against them so soon. Then he found the perfect thing. "Aha! Sasuke, you're gonna help me out!"

"Wait, what?!" But before Sasuke could say anything else, he was already being picked up and hurled over the partition by Goemon.

--

"What the hell is wrong with that idiot?! I can't believe he would try to do something like that again," Yae snarled as she crossed her arms.

"Again? You mean he's done it before?"

"Yeah. Stupid pervert, I'm gonna kill him when this bath is over." By this point, Yae was breathing rather heavily.

"You're so tense, Yae. Why don't I scrub your back to calm you down?"

Yae nodded and turned around, but turned back to face Omitsu after hearing a screech, followed by a splash and the waitress screaming. Sasuke lay between them, bobbing up and down in the water and looking very disoriented.

"What the--?! Sasuke, what are you doing here?!" Yae yelled.

"It's not my fault, Miss Yae! Goemon tossed me over after he was hit with a bucket from this side." Omitsu turned red with embarrassment.

Suddenly, the girls heard a distinctive voice shout "Did somebody say back scrub?" Ebisumaru had once again managed to climb up the wall and was leering down at Omitsu and Yae.

"No, but you can have your robot back, you sicko!" Yae grabbed the protesting Sasuke by the arm and threw him as hard as she could without standing up. The Clockwork Ninja flew up and right into Ebisumaru's nose, sending both of them falling back into the water below with a loud splash. "Heh, you know, suddenly I don't feel like killing Ebisumaru anymore," she said with a smirk.

--

Goemon and the others came out of the onsen, feeling much more relaxed, and met the generous man with the precariously perched headgear from before. "Ah, see, I told you a bath would do you good. Uh, except for you, buddy, you've got a little bruise or something on your nose..."

Ebisumaru covered his nose in embarrassment. "So, does that mean we can dance now."

"Sure, that's a'ight. Go ahead and have some fun, a'ight? Here, borrow some headgear if you want." He pointed to several barrels overflowing with hats, crowns, masks, headdresses, and the like, enough to satisfy all but the most insatiable hat enthusiasts. Ebisumaru, who was never known to be very picky, immediately began digging through one of the barrels. Omitsu soon joined him.

Ebisumaru went through several transformations as he tried to pick a look that he felt suited him. He was a king, a court jester, an astronaut, a pirate. One minute he was at a French masquerade, the next he was on a tropical island wearing a mountain of fake fruit on his head. Finally, he settled on an aristocratic-style wig, complete with faux earrings and pearls, that curled round and round into a beehive hairstyle. "So, care for a dance, Yae?"

"Wha--?! Are you kidding?!" a shocked Yae burst out.

"I'll take that as a no. How 'bout you, Omitsu?" Ebisumaru asked as he batted his eyelashes.

Omitsu looked up from browsing. "Huh? Oh, no, I don't think so." She promptly went back to her search.

"All righty, I'll just go find a girl that does want to dance with this handsome devil!" Ebisumaru swaggered proudly into the crowd, stopping to talk with just about every young lady he passed by.

"The nerve of the guy, asking me to dance..." Yae scoffed.

"Great, so you'll be my date, a'ight?"

"What? Date? Oh, no, you see, I, uh, I don't dance, and--"

"Nonsense! You're so fine, you've just gotta be a great dancer. Let's go, a'ight?" Bath man, who was quite a bit taller than any of the ninjas, grabbed Yae by the arm and began dragging her towards the large group of people in the center of the square. "Oh, and you'll look good if you put this on, a'ight?" He grabbed the purple jester's hat that Ebisumaru had discarded earlier and placed it squarely on her head. It befitted the hopelessly confused look that was on her face. "Perfect!"

"Ack! Help me, Goemon!"

But Goemon, rather than paying any attention to her plight, remained right where he was standing and laughed at her misfortune as she was being dragged away against her will. His snickers were interrupted by a softer voice. "Umm, Goemon? What do you think of this one?"

"Eh?" Goemon turned in the direction of the voice and found himself completely speechless. Omitsu stood before him, a silver tiara with a large red jewel that matched her kimono resting perfectly on her ears. In order to accommodate this, she had let her hair down to flow freely. It went down to her waist, and some of the shorter strands hugged her cheeks and curled just past the base of her neck in front. Goemon stammered as he stared at her, but no comprehensible words came out of his mouth as far as either of them could tell.

"Hmm? How does it look, Goemon?"

If Goemon was being completely honest with her, he would have said that the tiara wasn't even close to being comparable to the person wearing it in terms of beauty. Instead, what he said was "Yeah. I-It looks good."

"Really? I'm glad to hear it." Omitsu twirled in place and then extended her hand. "So, shall we dance?"

"Uh, sure, Omitsu..." Though only there in a physical sense, he placed his hand into Omitsu's and let her lead him towards the sea of dancers. A dreamy grin was plastered on his face as he left a perfectly content Sasuke alone to sip from a cup of green tea.

Omitsu giggled when she had finally come to a stop. "You know, I can't believe I had to ask you to dance in the first place. But I also can't believe how easy it was for you to say yes." Omitsu held onto one hand of her dance partner, who was apparently still a bit overwhelmed, and put his other hand on her waist. "And away we go!"

--

Once Goemon had come back to his senses, he found dancing to be a lot easier and a lot more fun than he had anticipated. Omitsu ended up doing most of the work, and would give Goemon clues about what he should do next to make the dance flow or look impressive. She would whisper commands such as "Dip" or "Release" or "Spin" at appropriate moments, and it was Goemon's job to match his timing of the action with the music.

Omitsu leaned in towards Goemon as they swayed gently. "All right, Goemon, I think you're ready."

"Huh? Ready? Ready for what?" For the first time during the dance, Goemon felt rather nervous.

"We're going to separate...and then I'm going to run towards you. You have to catch me and spin in place a few times with me in your arms."

"A-Are you serious?! There's now way I can--!"

"Shh, it's time. The song's almost over." Omitsu released herself from Goemon's grip and gracefully spun away from him. She paused for a brief second before elegantly trotting back towards him.

Goemon, meanwhile, stood, fixed to the spot but shaking, and prepared to catch his approaching friend. The only thoughts running through his head as he held his arms out for her were along the lines of "_Oh man, I hope I don't screw this up._" She had placed so much trust in him, but would he be able to pull through for her? Would they really be able to do this? And would she be able to forgive him if he failed her?

"Whoa!" Goemon, who had been so absorbed in these thoughts, suddenly realized that there was a heavy weight in his arms that had provided more than enough momentum to cause him to spin without moving very far. It took all of his concentration to keep from dropping her. This final step in their dance coincided perfectly with the grand finale of the last musical piece of the night, a powerful meld of fortissimo tones, and a fitting conclusion drawn out for as long as the fingers and diaphragms of the musicians could manage.

Omitsu's hands were wrapped securely around the back of Goemon's neck and her legs were held up by one of his arms as he literally took her for a spin. She smiled up at him and pulled herself up a bit to whisper in his ear. "Thank you. I knew I could count on you, Goemon." After some hesitation, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and her heavenly smile was met with his goofy grin. They stayed like this for some time, despite the applause and whistles that had erupted from the crowd. Apparently, Goemon and Omitsu had caught the attention of quite a few of the other dancers. "Umm, Goemon? Do you think you could put me down now?"

"H-Huh? Oh, yeah. Here you go, Omitsu." He slowly and gently lowered her to the floor, and breathed a huge sigh of relief when she safely stepped onto solid ground again. "To be honest, I never knew you were such a great dancer, Omitsu."

Omitsu smiled and blushed a bit at the compliment. "Thank you, Goemon. It's nothing, really, I haven't danced like that in a long time. Plus, one dancer's only as good as their partner."

"Really? Wow, you must've been really amazing back then, huh?"

Before Omitsu could respond, they were interrupted by a loud and familiar shout. "DAMN! That was hot, you two! Makes me wanna do something else for you, a'ight?"

"Oh, no sir, please, you've done enough for us already..." Omitsu began.

"Naw, I ain't takin' 'no' for an answer. What do you say, ladies and gentlemen? We should give this hot couple a prize, a'ight? Am I right?" Even before he had finished this short speech, the crowd was showing their approval through applause.

"I think you were a little too impressive," Goemon whispered to Omitsu. "Now they think we're dating."

"Heh heh, dating...Wh-Where do you think they'd get a, a ridiculous idea like that..." Omitsu trailed off as she rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment. "_Does that mean--_"

"Aha! I got it!" shouted the man who was ready to flaunt his generosity once more. "I'll pay for a Gold Suite at the local inn for you guys, a'ight? One bed and one hot tub should be perfect after a long night of dancing!"

Goemon's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "_One bed...? One hot tub...?_" He could already feel the sweat forming on his palms and forehead.


	6. The Next Day, and the Last Day

The sun rose later than usual. Goemon had been standing there for several minutes wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, gazing down at Festival Village from the hotel room's window as it was bathed in the morning light. Now, in this moment,things were nearly perfect.

Humming softly, Omitsu approached him from behind, also wearing only a towel, and began rubbing his shoulders. Her soft, delicate fingers made their way down his muscular arm, a gesture which brought a smile to his face. "Mmm, that was great..." she whispered in his ear.

"Yeah, but we're not done yet, are we?" Goemon put on an unusually charming grin. Soon enough, things really would be perfect.

"Ding!" Omitsu playfully tapped his nose. "You're absolutely right, handsome." She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and licked her lips suggestively before moving them closer and closer to his, slowly and deliberately. With nothing to hold it up, her towel came undone and started to fall towards the floor...

--

Rather than a warm and passionate kiss, the very next thing Goemon felt was his left side colliding with the wooden floor of the hotel room. "_Ow...That was creepy. I mean, Omitsu and me..._" He quickly shook his head to stop himself from going any further. Too tired to think of much else, he observed his surroundings in an attempt to distract himself and piece together what really happened after the dance. "_Okay, I was on the bed...The only bed in the room...Oh man! We didn't do anything last night...did we?_"

Thrown into a slight panic, he then began muttering aloud. "All right, she's not in the bed...Wait, I didn't make her sleep on the floor, did I? Oh man..." He was somewhat relieved to find, upon closer inspection, that someone HAD slept on the other side of the bed. The sheets were fairly cool, but had been disturbed recently. "Well, it looks like we were in the same bed...Wow."

Bit by bit, the events of the previous night began coming back to him. He and Omitsu had checked in, and he remembered that he had been less than thrilled that the room did indeed have only one bed. Using the excuse of wanting to prove just how much of a gentleman he could be, he told Omitsu to take the bed while he looked for a comfortable place on the floor. "Don't be ridiculous," she had told him. "It won't really mean anything if we sleep in the same bed. And besides, you'll need your rest for tomorrow." Goemon stubbornly refused, however, and spent several hours in various areas throughout the room, failing to get a wink of sleep every time. He even tried to sleep in the hot tub for a while until he realized the disadvantages of waking up with too much steam in his lungs and too many wrinkles on his skin. Finally, he dragged himself into bed, as close to the edge and far away from Omitsu, who was fast asleep, as possible. A few short hours of unconsciousness later, he was once again on the floor, though certainly not asleep.

"_Where did Omitsu run off to? And what about the others? And...what time is it?_" Still exhausted, Goemon rubbed his eyes while wandering to the nearest door. It wasn't locked, so he slowly pushed it open. "_Oh man, I've got a really bad--_"

"Eek!"

"Uwaah!" Now he was awake.

"Oh, Goemon. I'm sorry, you just startled me a bit there." Omitsu stood there in the bathroom, and she blushed and quickly turned her back to him upon realizing who had just walked in. "Hold on for just a minute, I'm not quite finished yet." She fiddled with her kimono in a rushed attempt to close it, apparently unaware or just forgetting that Goemon was able to see her upper body in the mirror. A towel was draped around her shoulders and she was brushing her damp hair, released completely from its usual geisha style. Goemon could see that one of her eyes was almost completely covered by her lustrous locks, giving her an exotic and rebellious look that he wasn't used to seeing with her. Finally, she turned around and walked towards Goemon, who was almost certain he saw her hips shake more than usual as she ambled over. "Well, I'm glad you eventually came to your senses. Though I'm not quite sure if I personally care for your choice in sleep wear, hee hee..."

Goemon, who had actually dressed up for bed due to Omitsu's presence and the cold weather, was wearing nothing but a loincloth and standing in the doorway, completely speechless. Omitsu giggled again before continuing. "What's the matter, Goemon? Cat got your tongue? Am I just too hot for you to handle, hmm?" She smiled and leaned in closer, but unless nervous shaking could be considered a legitimate response, she received none from Goemon. "Well, at any rate, you'd better get ready to go. I don't know how long it's gonna be before Yae and the others come back up here."

This seemed to catch Goemon's attention. "Huh? Wait, the others have already been here?"

"That's right," she replied as she walked past him, casually combing her hair as she did. "Not too long ago, actually. You were still asleep, so they waited for a few minutes before deciding to go downstairs to get some breakfast. You should get ready pretty soon, then we'll eat together, okay?" She sent another warm smile his way.

"Wh-Why didn't you go with them, Omitsu?"

"Why, I wasn't ready yet, silly. Plus, I wouldn't want to leave you alone. By the way, have you tried the hot tub yet? It's fantastic."

--

After what was perhaps his most awkward meal in recent memory and a good deal of berating from Yae and teasing from Ebisumaru, Goemon couldn't be more excited to get out of Festival Village. He put an inordinate amount of effort into staying away from Omitsu and avoiding eye contact with her, lest he remember his dream and become incapacitated by dirty thoughts accompanied by a chorus of his trademark "perverted chuckle" (as Yae called it): "Dehehehehe..."

Of course, Omitsu was rather displeased that Goemon was no longer paying attention to her. "Goemon! Hey, Goemon!" No response from her friend, save for a twitch that may have been involuntary. "What's wrong with him?" she wondered aloud. "Was it something I said?"

"Don't worry about it, Omitsu," Yae responded quickly. "I'm sure he's just peeved because we couldn't catch Bismaru yesterday. He'll be fine. Doesn't look like he got much sleep last night, though..."

"Yes, it does indeed seem that way," Ebisumaru mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I wonder, just what did you two do last night after the dance, hmm?"

"You--What are you insinuating, Ebisumaru?!" Omitsu shouted. This was the first thing she said since breakfast that seemed to get Goemon's attention. "We didn't DO anything! I mean, you can see that I'm not tired--"

"Ah, so I wonder just what he did do, then," Ebisumaru said with a sly grin and wiggle of the eyebrows. "Nyohohohoho..." And finally, after sitting on the sidelines for so long, Omitsu found the perfect opportunity to hit Ebisumaru on the back of the head.

--

Fortunately for Goemon, the weather had cleared up quite a bit around Mt. Fear. Meaning everybody at its foot was able to see just how high it really was.

"Okay, why don't you guys just go on ahead without me? I think I'm gonna go back to Festival Village and wait for the next dance. See ya around!" Ebisumaru slowly backed up as he said this, then tried to make a mad dash for the town as soon as he finished.

Goemon, though, wouldn't let his companion retreat like this on his watch. "Oh, no you don't," he exclaimed, grabbing Ebisumaru's arm before he was able to get too far. "You're coming with us whether you like it or not!"

--

He huffed, and he puffed, but no amount of huffing and puffing on Ebisumaru's part could bring this mountain down. "H-How much farther, Goemon?"

"I suggest you save your breath and stop asking, Ebisumaru. Because I have no idea."

Up they went the seemingly endless slopes, seeing no sign of Bismaru or his victims. Every so often, Ebisumaru would break the silence by asking how much further they had to go or complaining about his sore back, at which point he would passionately yearn for a hot bath (with Omitsu's and Yae's company, of course).

Thankfully, this would end soon enough, as the five climbers heard a familiar voice, humming quite loudly amidst a chorus of metallic clangs. "Ah, I think we've found our crazy ol' nun," Goemon whispered back to his friends. "Just a little further guys."

A few minutes later, the clanging was replaced with a soft buzz. Not long after that, the four ninjas and the waitress had reached the edge of a cliff and peeked over to see just what was waiting for them.

Sure enough, there was the contracted Bismaru Elegant pod, along with a number of cages tied to the bottom. But what really caught their attention was a large, spinning vortex. Although it seemed to be infinitely deep, it was in fact paper thin and floating above two metallic hubs separated by the diameter of the circle. Bismaru Elegant sputtered as it hovered above the ground and shakily made its way to the mysterious spiral. It approached, went in...and never came out. Goemon and the others watched in amazement for a few seconds.

Nothing happened. The entire scene was silent, save for a cool breeze that rustled through their hair. "All right. That's it," Goemon said as he pulled himself up onto the cliff. "Let's go."

"Go? Go where?" Sasuke asked.

"What do you mean? We're going in there, after Bismaru, of course." Before anybody else could protest, Goemon ran towards the portal and dove straight in.

Everybody else stared, apparently waiting for something dramatic to happen. When nothing did, each of them breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, shouldn't we follow him?" Yae asked everybody.

"I think Omitsu's already decided for us." Ebisumaru pointed to the waitress, who was trudging her way through the snow and into the vortex as if pushing a door open. "Well, now I guess we've gotta go, huh?" He climbed up and helped Sasuke and Yae to his position before all three of them followed their two friends.


	7. Destination: Unknown

There wasn't much to the journey through the strange portal. One minute they were on Mt. Fear, the next they found themselves in an unknown land.

Goemon, being the first to step through the portal, was the first to arrive at this new destination. He barely had time to look around and wonder where he was when he was hit from behind by a large, shrieking object. Both Goemon and this newcomer fell forward onto the grassy floor beneath. "Ow...What the hell was that about?" Goemon complained.

"S-Sorry, Goemon," came the reply.

"O-Omitsu?! You came? Where are the others?"

"Of course I came, Goemon. I said I was gonna protect you, and I meant it. As for the others, I'm assuming they'll be here soon. I was the first to go through that vortex thing on Mt. Fear after you."

"Great, great. So...do you think you could get off of me now?"

"Oh, right. Sorry, Goemon." Omitsu quickly stood up and helped her friend to his feet.

"Okay. Huh...Where are we, exactly?" Goemon looked around and saw nothing but trees. He moved closer to one and rubbed a shiny gray area in the wood. "Wait, I've seen this before..."

--

The ocean was unusually calm on that day. Waves were small, fish were not jumping, the breeze was light...If only the ocean could have known that it would be disturbed very soon.

"Eeeeyaaaaahhhh!" Something literally appeared out of thin air and hit the surface of the water hard. That something was underwater for a few seconds before emerging and revealing itself as none other than the kunoichi Yae.

She gasped for air and coughed, nearly sinking once again, before calming herself enough to stay afloat. She could see land far in the distance, but she knew it would be difficult to reach, especially for the others, who didn't have the same advantage that Yae did while in the water. And no matter where she looked, she could see nobody. There was no sign of any of her friends.

Seconds after fearing the worst, Yae's anxiety was assuaged slightly when she saw a green and blue ball fall into the ocean. "Sasuke! Sasuke?" The Clockwork Ninja didn't float back up. "Sasuke? Sasuke!" Yae dove down in search of Sasuke, and hopefully Goemon and Omitsu as well.

--

As for Ebisumaru, he had hit the ground rolling. More specifically, he found himself rolling into an older gentleman who was quite displeased to find himself on the floor beneath the portly Ninja of Justice. He cursed profanely while Ebisumaru frantically stood up and apologized for his "clumsiness."

The old man himself had a long white beard and hair to match. He muttered under his breath as Ebisumaru helped him up, but threw the ninja's hand aside once he was back on his feet. He bent down and picked up his walking stick before whacking Ebisumaru's arm with it. "What's the big idea, sonny?!" he yelled in a hoarse voice.

"I, I'm sorry, sir! Really, I am," Ebisumaru said, backing away as he rubbed his sore arm. "Say, you remind me of someone I know--"

"Do I look like I care, sonny? Now scram before I call the police!" He rapped Ebisumaru with his stick several more times, yelling "Help! Police!" the whole time.

"Eek! I already told you I'm sorry, sir!" Ebisumaru whined. He ran away, practically in tears and covering his head. He could hear the old man chuckle and say "I showed that punk a thing or two, didn't I?" behind him.

Ebisumaru whimpered and fiddled nervously with his thumbs. Despite the fact that this city he had found himself in was bustling with people, he felt completely alone. He didn't recognize even one of these people. "_Goemon? Sasuke? Yae? Omitsu? Where are you guys? I'm scared..._"

--

"I thought so. Looks like we're back already."

"What do you mean?"

"We're back in the future, Omitsu. So I'm guessing we'll be running into Jurokubei again soon enough." Goemon turned his head to look at Omitsu, who seemed to be staring off into space with her mouth slightly agape. Clearly expecting a response and receiving none, he cleared his throat, causing her to jump.

"Oh, right, Jurokubei...That awful man...What an awful, awful man..." Omitsu's voice trailed off as she turned away from Goemon and blushed deeply.

Goemon slapped his forehead in exasperation, but gave no other response to Omitsu's odd behavior. "Anyway, the others still haven't shown up for some reason. Why don't we wait here and eat something?"

--

Meanwhile, Ebisumaru was still wandering around the town he had the immediate misfortune of ending up in. He received unsettling looks from the strangers that passed him by, but the Ninja of Justice tried his best to remain proud and cheerful, at least on the outside. After all, he was the Ninja of Justice. But what could possibly be so strange about him that he captured the attention of so many people?

In reality, though, he was so terrified he wanted to jump out of his skin. He called out for all his friends, but received no familiar voice in response. Despite his seemingly crippling fear, he yawned loudly, drawing the attention of everyone around him. "Wow, I'm really sleepy," he mumbled. "I'd better find someplace to stay for the night..."

Ebisumaru finally swallowed his fear and asked the nearest pedestrian where he might find an inn. Thankfully, rather than biting his head off or even hitting him with a stick, the man pointed him in the right direction. Ebisumaru thanked him and scampered off before this helpful stranger got any violent ideas.

He walked for what seemed like hours through a maze of streets. Finally, he came to a relatively humble building among several taller, more majestic ones. A slightly worn sign above the door read "Neo Inn." "Well, it's better than nothing..." Ebisumaru said as he walked inside.

"Welcome!" This sudden shout greeted Ebisumaru as he entered and nearly gave him a heart attack. It was so loud and so sudden, it seemed like the man who said it had been waiting for years to say that one simple word to somebody. The voice, which belonged to a short, middle-aged gentleman sitting behind a desk, continued after a while. "You look like a man of distinguished tastes. How would you like to stay in our Gold Suite this evening, absolutely free?"

Ebisumaru was elated upon hearing this. "Free? Oh, you bet I--Wait a minute. What's the catch? Goemon always told me there was a catch. Why are you letting me stay for free?"

The innkeeper was taken aback by this display of skepticism and began sweating and rubbing his neck. "Umm...Well, you see, uh...Oh! You're our one millionth customer! As an expression of our gratitude, please accept one free night in our luxurious Gold Suite!"

"I don't know...This is starting to look a little fishy, if you ask me..."

"Food will be freshly cooked and brought to you at no charge--"

"All right, it's a deal!"

--

Yae dove and swam as quickly as she could, but was barely keeping up with the sinking Sasuke. The pressure was almost too much for her to bear. Her lungs felt as if they were going to explode. But transforming now would be too risky; something could happen to Sasuke in that time, after all. She would try her best to catch him first.

"_Just a little further..._" Yae reached her hand out to grab Sasuke's. "_I've almost got you...There!_" Yae clasped Sasuke's wrist, just barely slowing his descent. Unfortunately, it wasn't slow enough. The Clockwork Ninja's other hand had come in contact with something large and metallic, and its deep growl indicated that it felt extremely hostile towards those who had disturbed it.

"_Uh-oh...I guess now would be a good time to transform._" Even as she thought this, she concentrated on awakening her greatest power. She was bathed in a pink glow for a second before it dissipated and revealed a significantly different Yae. She was now a mermaid, complete with a pink tail shaped like a dolphin's tail fin and gills as well as lungs. She grabbed Sasuke's wrist and swam up towards the surface as fast as she could. The jaws of the creature chasing them clamped down on only water mere inches behind them, giving her plenty of motivation to hurry even more.

"_Ah! Finally!_" Yae at last reached the surface of the water and was once again able to breathe the salty ocean air. Sasuke, though, was still motionless. "Sasuke, wake up!" she shouted, hitting him on the head at the same time.

Sasuke awoke with a start. "Wha--?! Miss Yae, what was that for?! I--" Before Sasuke could finish this sentence, he and Yae found themselves flying through the air on a powerful stream of water. They screamed and tumbled in midair as they came back down, hitting the water with a huge splash.

Finding themselves underwater once again, Sasuke and Yae swam for the surface and reemerged as quickly as they could. "That's what that was for," Yae said after taking in a huge breath of air. Sasuke gasped when he saw what Yae was referring to.

It was clearly a robot, though it had been painted to look like a snapping turtle. The craftsmanship was sloppy; even from a good thirty feet away, Yae and Sasuke could see that the turtle's beak and hands were jagged and the coat of paint was uneven. Of course, the former characteristic wouldn't make defending against this behemoth any easier.

"Let's hope this works..." Yae said as she armed herself with her trusty bazooka, a long-range weapon of considerable power. After aiming in the general vicinity of her opponent's head, she fired it off several times. Though each shot would have have hit the turtle somewhere in the face, only a handful of them actually did, bouncing off without making so much as a miniscule dent. The others were caught in its mouth, chewed, and swallowed within a matter of seconds. "Well, that's not good. I don't suppose you could throw your Firecracker Bombs that far, eh Sasuke?"

"Obviously not! The best option at this point might be to run away."

"Or swim in this case. Hang on tight, Sasuke." The Clockwork Ninja wrapped his arms around the mermaid's neck as both of them sped off, closely followed by a very bad-tempered turtle.


	8. An Extended Stay

Author's Notes: I wanna say two things at the start. First, I broke one of my own rules in publishing this chapter so early. I usually wait at least 24 hours after finishing the rough draft before I look over the chapter one last time and publish it. Not so in this case. Not only am I fairly excited about this chapter personally, I want to get as much published as I possibly can before school starts (and that time is coming up fast; too fast, if you ask me).

Second, this chapter features an original character created by a friend of mine. Ririka is owned by Sarahsuke, and is used in this work with her permission.

--

Ebisumaru sighed happily as he looked outside at the singing wind chime on the balcony. Some of the cool, light breeze entered the room through the door that was open only a crack. Even up here, just a few stories above the ground, the air felt cleaner.

"Your dinner is here, sir," said a male voice that caused Ebisumaru to turn away from the balcony and towards the front door of the suite. A bellboy stood there behind a cart with several large plates and a steaming tea kettle on it. Each plate had a semicircular steel cover over it.

"Thanks very much," Ebisumaru said as he skipped over to the cart and the bellboy. He licked his lips as the pungent scent of his food passed through the metal barrier and reached his nose. "Mmm...Boy, I can't believe I got this great deal, just for being the one millionth customer. That was some good fortune, eh?"

"One millionth customer? Sir, there's no way this place could ever have had one million--" The bellboy stopped at what sounded to Ebisumaru like a loud cough, even though neither of them had done any such thing.

"What was that?" the Ninja of Justice asked.

"Er, nothing, sir. Nothing at all. Anyway, well, I've only been here for, uh, three months, sir, so what do I know? The manager, Mr. Tanaka, would know more about our records and such than I, a humble bellboy. Heh heh...Umm, enjoy your meal, sir!" And without another word to explain this strange noise or the sudden increase in talking speed, the bellboy bowed and quickly walked out of the room.

"What a strange person...Oh well, free food time!" Ebisumaru lifted the cover off the biggest plate and nearly cried from sheer joy when he saw a plate with strips of barbecue beef over a bed of rice staring back at him. He uncovered another and squealed with delight. "Eee, anmitsu!" The syrup covering the bean jam and fruit was almost spilling off the plate, there was so much of it. After taking a deep breath to keep himself from passing out from over excitement, he lifted the third and final cover. "Ah, good ol' dango." Ebisumaru picked up one skewer of the dumplings and shoved the entire thing in his mouth. The dumplings were glazed with an extremely sweet substance that Ebisumaru couldn't quite figure out; the taste sensation was completely new to him, and Ebisumaru always embraced new tastes. "I'm gonna enjoy this," he said before beginning his quest to scarf the rest of the food down.

--

The bellboy carefully walked over wires in the narrow passageway, which barely seemed big enough for even one person to walk through. Being relatively tall, he also had to bend down to keep from hitting his head on the ceiling. "You almost screwed everything up in there, Hibiki," came a hushed voice.

"Ack!" The bellboy jumped slightly and hit his head on the ceiling. Rubbing his new injury, he responded in an even softer tone. "Shh! He'll hear us!"

"I don't think that's very likely. He's not exactly a quiet eater." The man who had already been there turned to face this new arrival and patted a spot on the ground next to him.

Hibiki sat down and examined the wall in front of him. There were two small holes there, just large enough to see inside Ebisumaru's room. "Wow, he's still going...Say, you don't think that's the...person that paid us to do this, do you, Mr. Tanaka? They look exactly the same."

"Don't be foolish," came the brusque reply. "Even someone like...that person doesn't look dumb enough to come back here and fall into their own trap. This is definitely the guy we were asked to take care of.

"And he's been eating that food since the moment you left his room. Are you sure you put enough poison on everything?"

"Well, I applied as much as I could in such a short time. Also, the budget was so small, and--"

"I didn't ask you about the budget, you fool!" Tanaka received a harsh shush for this outburst, and Hibiki received a smack on the forehead for his insolence. "I asked you if you put enough poison on his food," the irate innkeeper hissed. "You know, enough to kill him."

"That much poison would be enough to kill most men, sir."

" 'Most men'? I don't know if you noticed this, boy, but this guy isn't like 'most men'. I mean, he's huge!" Hibiki shushed his boss once again, and promptly received the same punishment for it. "Do that again and I'll send you straight through this wall, you hear me?" Tanaka warned.

"Fine, fine. But even so, sir," Hibiki started, gently massaging his sore head, "the amount I used would even be enough to knock out a rhinoceros. I'm sure he'll keel over soon enough."

Suddenly, Ebisumaru burped loudly. Looking quite embarrassed, he looked to both sides before saying "Excuse me" to no one in particular. "Oh! Look, boy, something is happening!" Mr. Tanaka pointed towards the Ninja of Justice excitedly.

On the other side of the wall, Ebisumaru stretched and yawned. "Wow, that food was really rich," he mumbled. There was only some rice and a small amount of anmitsu left on the cart. "Maybe I should just drink some tea and go to bed..." Ebisumaru lifted the pot and poured some into a small cup.

"Ah, the tea," Tanaka said with an evil grin.

"Yes, the tea," Hibiki repeated with the same grin. There was a short pause. "Umm, what about the tea, sir?"

"Don't ask stupid questions, boy. You did remember to poison the tea, didn't you?"

"Er, well, no...I, I can explain!" He put his hands up to cover his face when his boss gave him a furious look. "You didn't give me enough to put in the tea. Plus, this type of poison isn't very potent in hot liquids...uh-oh..."

Tanaka, completely dumbfounded, stared openmouthed at this idiotic bellboy. "What kind of a poison...ISN'T POTENT IN HOT LIQUIDS?! No wonder he hasn't died yet!"

"Shh, please calm down, Boss--" Before he could say anymore, Hibiki found himself being slammed headfirst into the wall separating them from Ebisumaru.

Of course, even the Ninja of Justice would have to notice a loud crash like this. With a confused look on his face, he tiptoed towards the wall and put his ear up to it. The other side was silent, save for occasional muffled whimpers from the bellboy, which Ebisumaru couldn't detect. After a few seconds of hearing nothing else, Ebisumaru backed away from the wall and shook his head disapprovingly. "Tsk tsk...Looks like this place has a serious rat problem. I'd better tell the manager tomorrow morning." And with that, he yawned and trudged off to bed, scratching his stomach as he dragged himself to the comfort that awaited him.

"Ow...Well, I'm glad you didn't send me through the wall like you threatened, sir," Hibiki whined.

"Eh? I don't think I could do that even if I wanted to. These walls are pretty sturdy," Tanaka said as he lovingly petted the section of wall that his subordinate's head had collided with seconds earlier. "I may be crooked, but I'm no cheapskate."

"Right...Well, anyway, it looks like the poison seems to be making him weaker. He should be dead any second now."

Seconds turned to minutes. Minutes became hours. Neither Tanaka nor Hibiki said anything at all during this time, though there was a considerable amount of moaning and grunting. Suddenly, Hibiki sat up straight. "Say, Boss," he whispered. "I just realized something."

Tanaka yawned and rubbed his eyes before responding. "Yeah? What is it?"

"Well, if he's dead, umm...How would we know if we stayed back here? We can't see the bed from here. Plus, dead people don't usually make any noise or anything, do they?"

"You're the so-called expert, you idiot! You tell me!"

Tanaka was about to strangle the bellboy before a loud noise from inside the room interrupted him. Both men turned towards the noise, which was followed by mumbling from a very distinct voice. "Food, glorious food, hee hee hee..." it said before snoring loudly once more.

"Argh! Come on!" exclaimed both of the failed assassins at the same time.

"All right, it's fine, we'll be all right," Hibiki said after taking a few seconds to calm down. "I've got a Plan B."

--

"Are you sure you can't get me any closer than this, sir? This could be kind of tough..."

"Of course I'm sure. And if you're even half as good as you claim to be, then this should be a piece of cake."

Hibiki gulped and nodded. They were once again in the space between the walls, though in an area only slightly closer to the bed than their previous position. He took out a thin, black box and opened it carefully. Inside lay the intended murder weapon; three of them in fact, as well as a fourth device to make it all possible. "All right, these should do the trick, methinks..."

The innkeeper pushed on the wall, which opened like a hinged door. At the same time, somebody in Ebisumaru's room would have seen one side of the suite's sole painting (a garish portrait of Mr. Tanaka himself) separate from the wall and swing forward to reveal a lanky bellboy and a squat innkeeper staring in from the narrow space behind the wall.

"Uh-huh, I'm pretty sure I can't make this, sir...Why can't we just go in and slit his throat or something?" asked the now shaking bellboy. "It would be so quick and easy."

"You fool! If we were to set foot in the room, something would inevitably tie us to the crime! Don't you know anything, boy?"

"Oh yeah, you're right...Heh heh, you're pretty smart, Boss." He removed a thin, wooden tube and an even thinner cylinder with a sharp point at one end from the box. "These darts will send our stubborn friend packing on a one-way trip to the afterlife." He put the dart into the blow gun, put the other end to his lips, and blew into it.

The deadly projectile sailed through the air towards its oblivious victim. It would deliver death mere seconds after impact from the point on the end of the dart, a quick demise for the clueless Ninja of Justice. However, Ebisumaru experienced one more stroke of good fortune when gravity's pull caused the dart to hit the side of the bed instead.

Tanaka slapped his forehead. "I thought you said you could do this..." he groaned.

"Of course I can do this, sir. I just have to aim a little higher and give it a little more oomph." The shooter adjusted his aim, took a bigger breath, and blew into the tube once more.

This second shot did in fact manage to reach the sleeping Ebisumaru. However, it had lost much of its force by that time and simply bounced off of his large, flabby nose. Without waking up, Ebisumaru mumbled something, swatted lazily at the general area of his nose, and turned over onto his side. His back now faced the frustrated and murderous duo.

"Great...We've only got one more shot with this," Hibiki mumbled. He loaded the dart into the gun. "I'd better make this count." He then took several deep breaths and closed his eyes in concentration before slowly raising the narrow tube to his lips.

"Come on, boy, don't let me down," Tanaka said. Just as Hibiki put the blow gun to his mouth, the innkeeper gave him several hearty pats on the back. The bellboy's eyes grew wide as he inhaled quickly to recover from this sudden blow, and grew wider still when the dart flew back into his mouth and became lodged in his throat. He dropped the gun and held on to his neck, making loud choking sounds the entire time.

Even Ebisumaru couldn't sleep through that. He sat up with a start, rubbed his eyes, and looked straight at the painting. Both Tanaka and Hibiki froze, though the latter continued to gag and cough. Ebisumaru got out of bed and dragged his feet in their direction. "You've really done it this time, idiot," the innkeeper hissed quietly.

However, Ebisumaru walked right past them as his hand searched for and eventually found a night stand near the door leading to the balcony. He picked up the vase on the table, walked out onto the balcony, and hurled it at the ground three stories below. There was a loud crash as the vase shattered upon hitting the ground. "Shaddap!" he shouted before turning around and beginning his slow journey back to bed, wetting his lips and mumbling something about "stupid cats" along the way.

Tanaka, though, kept looking out at the balcony as tears began welling up in his eyes. "M-My vase...That thing cost me a fortune...!"

--

Hibiki yawned loudly, nearly letting go of the two ropes that were held in one of his hands. "Don't let go of those ropes yet, boy!" came a stern command that snapped him back to attention.

It was now morning. The other ends of the ropes in the exhausted bellboy's hand were tied to one of the ornate columns that decorated the lobby of the inn. The column itself leaned somewhat precariously in the general direction of the front desk. "Can't you ask somebody else to do this, sir?" he asked in a hoarse voice. "I mean, we were up all night coming up with this plan and setting it up..."

"Quit your whining! We'll get him this time, I'm sure."

The plan went as follows: Ebisumaru would come down to the lobby sometime within the next few hours to check out of his room. After returning his key and on his way out of the lobby, Hibiki would release the ropes holding the column up, smashing the Ninja of Justice under its massive weight.

"Boss, I'm really tired," moaned the bellboy. "And are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, you're destroying part of the inn."

"Hold your tongue! Of course it's a good idea, boy. And don't worry your foolish little head over that, he said he'll be glad to pay us handsomely if we can do this. I'm sure we'll be compensated for any damages, and then some." He added in a barely audible whisper "And then I can replace my precious vase."

"_Again with the vase,_" thought Hibiki as he rolled his eyes.

"Anyway," Tanaka continued in his normal tone, "he'll be down here any minute. When I give you the signal--" He waved his hand in a flourish. "--then you can let go of those ropes. It's a plan that's simple enough even for an idiot like you to understand."

--

And so they waited. They stayed in the exact same positions, saying no words and seeing no one, for over an hour. They were both growing tense and irritated. Finally, Ebisumaru, looking fully rested and very happy, casually strolled up to the front desk.

He put one elbow on the table and used his other hand to slam the key on the desk. "There you are, sir. Thanks for the free room," he said. "By the way, I think I heard rats in the walls last night. You might want to look into that."

"Ah, thank you for telling me that, good sir. I'll be sure to take care of it," the innkeeper said with a grin. Soon, the time would come to carry out his plan and complete a more important task. Shortly after exchanging goodbyes, Ebisumaru turned around and began walking away. Tanaka signaled that it was time to drop the column.

--

About a minute before he was ordered to release the ropes from his hands, Hibiki was in fact still standing there, attentively waiting for the signal to deliver the final blow. He had gone through a painful and sleepless night leading up to this moment; it would take something highly unusual to distract him from this purpose now.

Fortunately for Ebisumaru, something highly unusual did in fact come to distract the bellboy. "Hey. Got a minute?" came a sudden voice. The person's speech was quick, and it was difficult to determine a gender from it.

Hibiki was frustrated that somebody was interrupting him at this crucial time. "Sir, can't you see I'm bu--Whoa, wow wow wow!"

The "sir" standing before him wasn't so much a sir as a madam, and was actually less of a madam and more of a fox, in more than one sense of the word. She was a fox spirit, a kitsune, that had taken on a human form, save for her furry, pointed ears and multiple bushy tails. Her clothing consisted of a worn orange jacket and a pair of shorts of matching color, as well as some cloth wrapped around her voluptuous chest and a ring that hung from a modest necklace. Standing there with one hand on her hip and a sly smile on her face, she exuded a strong sense of self-confidence.

"Uh, I mean, I can, I can help you, if you want, miss, with, uh, whatever..." The bellboy continued rambling in this manner for some time.

The kitsune put her hands up to stop him. "All right, I'd like to get what I need today, if you don't mind. Listen, I'm looking for--"

"What's your name, pretty lady?"

"Huh? My name? You can call me Ririka. Anyway, I'm looking for--"

"Ririka...Such a beautiful name for such a beautiful woman..." Hibiki seemed lost in thought as his glazed eyes stared at this exotic creature before him.

"Well, it is good to know I've still got it after all these years, but if you can't tell me where I can find Jurokubei, I'll just be on my way. I hear he's got a pretty great place for people like me," she said with a grin.

"Jurokubei? Why would you want someone like Jurokubei when you can stay here with me?" The scrawny bellboy flexed for Ririka, letting go of the ropes but pulling them back just in time.

"Yeah, I don't think so. I'll see you around." Ririka turned to go, and that was when she noticed the Ninja of Justice pass right in front of her on his way to the door. "No...It can't be..." she muttered to herself. She quickly turned back to face Hibiki. "Hey, you! Tell me, who is that man?"

"That man? Why would you want someone like that man when you can stay here with me?"

"All right, that's it, I'm leaving," said the kitsune as she threw her arms up in frustration. "You're completely useless. Oh, and I think you're boss wants to talk to you." She was right; the innkeeper was waving his arms so wildly and looked so mad, it seemed like a blood vessel in his head would burst. And with that, she ran out the door after Ebisumaru.

"What?! Useless?! Why, I never--" Completely insulted, Hibiki let go of the ropes and crossed his arms. Seconds later, there was a crash, a scream, and a cloud of dust. "Oh no! Mr. Tanaka! Hold on, I'll get you out from under there!" he shouted as he ran towards the fallen column.

Outside the inn, Ririka had caught up with her mystery man, and was too distracted by her excitement to look for the source of the loud crash. Ebisumaru, however, turned back to face the inn, and this woman that had followed him out. She was panting heavily as a wide smile came to her face and she wrapped her arms tightly around him. "Ebisumaru! I'm so happy..." she said.

Ebisumaru, though flattered that he had such an enthusiastic and beautiful fan, was wracking his brain to figure out just who she was. "Umm, I'm sorry...Do I know you?" he asked finally.

Too shocked to speak, Ririka released him from her embrace and stepped back to look him in the eyes. It was Ebisumaru, all right. But if he didn't recognize her...That could only mean one thing: this Ebisumaru was from too far in the past. Though it pained her to do nothing, she knew there could be dire consequences to introducing herself to him here and now, before he returned to his own time. "N-No, my mistake. I'm sorry," she said. Her ears drooped as she looked away with embarrassment.

Ebisumaru raised an eyebrow before turning and walking away. Whoever she was, she was sure strange. The kitsune remained in the same place, however, and watched him go. A million thoughts ran through her mind, but only one of them was articulated as she rubbed the ring on her necklace between two fingers. "Ebisumaru...I'm so glad I got to see you again..."

--

Author's Notes: I think it would be a good idea to give some more information on Ririka for all you people. As this chapter stated, Ririka is a kitsune (fox spirit). Long ago, in the Edo period, she met and fell in love with Ebisumaru, and they entered a long and happy marriage together. It should be clear that this story takes place before they meet in the Edo period; after all, it'd be hard to forget someone like Ririka. Being a kitsune, she always knew that she would likely live for hundreds of years after her husband's death. Now, in "the future", she seeks Jurokubei to become a part of his "beautiful women collection" (his harem), though she'll never forget Ebisumaru and all he's done for her.


	9. The Metallic Forest

Goemon and Omitsu found that a search for food in a forest populated by mechanical trees left much to be desired. Making sure not to stray too far from their entry point, which they designated as the camp site, they listened for animals and heard none. They searched for fruit and saw very little. Bit by bit, they decided it would be worth it to expand the search to a wider area, though they stayed together. Being separated in these woods would be tragic and terrifying, indeed.

Goemon led the way, and Omitsu followed close behind, carrying any food they found in the apron that hung from her waist. "Come on, there's gotta be something better than nuts and berries around here..." Goemon complained as he kicked at bushes and whistled in an attempt to lure out any delicious and unsuspecting critters. "Ah, now there's something," he whispered, moving low to the ground at the same time.

"Huh?" Omitsu looked in the same direction as Goemon and felt like slapping him in the back of the head. "Oh, Goemon, we can't eat that. It's just a poor little bunny."

Sure enough, a small pink rabbit was sniffing at the grass a short distance away. It hadn't yet noticed the two humans watching it, and continued in its instinctive activities. "Well, have you seen anything better yet, Omitsu? Just turn away if you don't wanna watch," Goemon said.

"Yeah, gladly," Omitsu replied as she turned completely around. "Poor bunny..."

Goemon slowly and silently moved towards his prey. He had searched long and hard for a significant food source; he wasn't about to let it get away so easily. Each step he took brought him closer and closer to a hearty meal, which still showed no sign of realizing the danger it was in.

The ninja were renowned for their stealth. Moving silently through shadow, they prided themselves on having the element of surprise on their side. Any foe of a ninja would likely be attacked before they even knew who was hitting them. With all that admirable history of conquering their enemies so quietly, it was a real shame that a ninja who thought so highly of himself would be discovered through such an obvious mistake.

Never taking his eyes off the prize, Goemon decided it would be safe to take one more step. "_Almost there..._" he thought as he raised his pipe and moved slightly closer. Just as his foot hit the ground, there was a loud snap of a cracking twig, causing the ninja to stop dead in his tracks. "_Ah, crap._"

The rabbit turned its head to this new sound. Locking its eyes with Goemon, both of them moved not a muscle. "Please don't run away, please don't run away..." Goemon whispered.

Clearly, the creature had no intention of doing any such thing. Its eyes grew large, its teeth were bared, and it hopped towards Goemon in all its furry fury. Goemon raised his weapon to cover his face. "Ack!"

Meanwhile, all Omitsu heard were some grunts from Goemon and the sound of colliding metal. "What is going on back there? Eek!" Her hands flew up to her cheeks as part of her horrified expression upon turning around.

"Ack! The food!" Goemon whined. With nothing left to hold Omitsu's apron up, the paltry amount the duo had managed to forage littered the area around her feet.

"Never mind about the food, Goemon! What are you carrying that rabbit's severed head around for?!"

"Omitsu, this is no ordinary rabbit. Here, take a look." Goemon held the head up by the ears and moved it closer to Omitsu's face. Its black eyes had no sign of life left in them.

"Eek, get that thing away from me!" Omitsu closed her eyes and swatted at the air, eventually knocking the poor animal's head out of his hands. It bounced on the ground a few times and rolled over towards the rest of its lifeless body.

"Omitsu, if you'd just let me explain..." Goemon said through clenched teeth.

"What's there to explain? You slaughtered that poor rabbit and then waved its head in my face!" By this time, tears were beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. "Wha-What, do you think that's funny or something?!"

"Omitsu, listen to me, this is important!" In this short amount of time, Goemon's voice had been raised to a volume he had never even been close to achieving with any of his friends. He couldn't believe himself, and neither could Omitsu, but there would be time to address that later. He took a deep breath and walked over to the separated head and body. "Anyway, we can't eat this thing. It's made of metal."

"It's...what?" Omitsu blinked as she tried to figure out just what he was getting at. Goemon kicked the head onto its side, so that the base of the neck faced Omitsu. She took a deep breath and kneeled down for a closer look.

"See? There's wires and stuff in the neck," Goemon explained.

A spark flew out of the severed head, causing the waitress to jump and let out a small yelp. "S-So what does this mean? Why is it so important that that rabbit was actually a...a robot?"

"Well, I could be wrong, but...at the very least, I think Bismaru knows we're here. Chances are, the whole forest is full of robots like this one. So just stay alert, Omitsu."

Omitsu nodded, but she turned her head away and hung it low in an obvious attempt to avoid eye contact with her friend. She bit her lip and brought her frying pan out, staring at it in the hopes that it would give her an answer to just what she was really doing there. "Hey, we might finally get to see just what you can do with that," Goemon chimed in.

A small smile came across Omitsu's face as she nodded once more. "So, what do we do now? I don't think we'll be able to eat most of this," she said, indicating the food that had fallen from her apron.

"Well..." Goemon rubbed his chin in deep thought. Eventually, he sighed and revealed his plan. "We've gotta get out of this forest as soon as possible. Find the nearest town."

"But...But what about the others?"

"They've been gone a long time and they'd do the same thing if they were in our situation. Besides, they can take care of themselves. Well, Ebisumaru is a bit questionable, but I'm sure even he's fine wherever he is."

"So...does this mean we're going to move farther away from the camp site?" There was a slight shaking in her voice.

"Of course. We're obviously nowhere near a town right now."

--

Searching more forest yielded a surprisingly clear stream that provided both a source of running water and a depository of fish. The ones Goemon was able to catch were quickly gutted (with Omitsu facing the other way), and eaten in even less time. Goemon seemed very anxious, and refused to sit still in the same place any longer than was absolutely necessary. After cleaning themselves and getting a drink in the river, they were once again on their way. "Umm...I think it's this way..." Goemon said as he led Omitsu away.

They wandered for what seemed like, and most likely were, hours. Every few minutes, Goemon would turn his head and assure his traveling companion that he knew what he was doing and they would be able to get a nice, soft bed in the next town really soon. Of course, the truth of the matter was that he would have given anything for a map at that moment.

Omitsu, knowing nothing more than Goemon about their current situation and location, would just nod and agree with him whenever he said something like this. She was quickly growing exhausted. They had been walking nonstop since eating, and she would have given anything for that soft bed Goemon kept promising her. She yawned before stopping suddenly. "Goemon, wait," she said.

"Huh? What is it?" Goemon asked as he turned around to face her. "This had better be important, we can't stop for very long, Omitsu."

"I hate to say this, but...I think we've just gone in a big circle, Goemon." She pointed to the ground a short distance away, where there was a pile of sticks in the center of a ring of small rocks. Goemon gritted his teeth and kicked the twigs with a loud scream when he realized what this meant. This shrine of sticks and rocks was built by the two of them shortly after their arrival. It was originally intended to be used for a fire, but became a signal to their friends that they had been there after they had decided to keep moving.

Omitsu gulped and backed away from her enraged friend. "G-Goemon? Are you okay?"

"Am I okay? Is that even a serious question?!" Omitsu winced at this relatively harsh reply. "We need to get out of this stupid forest, and instead we end up back where we started! Do I look like things are okay, Omitsu?!"

"Please, c-calm down. You're scaring me..."

Goemon furrowed his brow between his fingers. "Really? I can't believe it's taken you this long to figure out that this is the real me!"

"No, Goemon. I've known you long enough to know that this actually isn't the real you. You're just really upset right now, so why don't you try to calm down and--"

"Why? We've been wandering around for hours and made no progress!"

"Exactly! It's late, you must be tired, so just sit down and relax." Omitsu cautiously moved behind Goemon and gently rubbed his shoulders. "You want me to go see if we missed any food around here?"

"Nah, it's fine," said Goemon after a deep breath. "Let's just keep moving and try not to end up back here again."

"No!" Now it was Goemon's turn to be shocked by a sudden outburst. "I already told you you should try to relax. I think it would be better if we just got some sleep here."

"What? But what if we get ambushed or something?"

"I've already thought of that, silly," she replied with a smirk. "I'll keep watch while you sleep, then you can do the same thing for me later."

"Wait, are you sure? I mean, it can be dangerous, and--Ow!" Goemon's lecture had been interrupted when a small, round object hit him square in the forehead. "What the heck was that?"

Omitsu turned around and pointed to the likely instigator almost immediately. An orange monkey-like robot that didn't seem to have even the smallest bit of mammalian detail in its appearance sat on a branch of a relatively short tree with its mouth open in a perfect circle. It looked down at Goemon and Omitsu with a blank expression, giving no signal about what it was thinking or what it planned to do next. Suddenly, it attacked. A metallic ball shot out of its mouth straight at the two people below.

Goemon raised his pipe to defend himself, but the projectile never came to him. Omitsu had also brandished her weapon of choice in preparation for another attack, and had hit the ball with the underside of the pan before it could reach him. The monkey was hit in the head and fell backwards out of the tree, hitting the forest floor with a crash. Goemon looked at the tree and let out an impressed whistle. "Nice job, Omitsu," he said.

Omitsu smiled at the compliment, but frowned seconds later before swinging her weapon overhead right behind Goemon. He turned around after feeling a rush of air and hearing the sound of two hollow metal objects colliding. There was an oversized hornet at his feet, and a small number of sparks flew out of its stinger as its abdomen twitched.

"Oh, I think I can manage just fine," Omitsu said with a smile and a wink.

--

Swerving left and right through the water and getting splashed in the face, Yae tried her best to swim as swiftly as she could from her approaching foe. Sasuke held on for dear life, and although his metallic hands nearly strangled his mermaid transport, she never complained. There was no time to argue in this situation.

The massive reptilian robot chasing them screeched and snapped at them, often falling short of Yae's tail by mere inches. Such a blunder would give the two ninjas a chance to boost ahead.

"This is bad," Sasuke said after quickly glancing back. "We can't keep this up much longer."

"Yeah," Yae replied while panting heavily. "It doesn't look like we're gonna lose him anytime soon like this. Hold on, Sasuke, we're going under!"

"Wh-What?! I don't know a--Bllbbppptt!" They had already disappeared below the water's surface.

--

Restless and anxious, Goemon turned back and forth on the forest floor. He finally ended up on his back and sighed, looking over at Omitsu. The waitress had her back to him and sat cross-legged, looking in the distance for any friend or foe that might approach. Goemon sat up and cleared his throat.

"Huh?" Omitsu turned her head. "Oh, Goemon. You should get some rest."

"I can't sleep. I guess I'm too upset...I'm sorry for getting so angry before, by the way."

"It...It's okay, Goemon..." Omitsu replied, turning her whole body to face him. "I haven't done much but weigh you down so far, after all."

"Don't say that, Omitsu. I...I'm glad you came along."

Omitsu blinked. Hearing Goemon say something like this was quite rare. "Wow...Thanks, Goemon. Thank you so much." She smiled at him, which sent a slight chill up the ninja's spine.

Goemon smiled back at her before holding his shoulder and shifting it in its socket. "Mmph..."

"Oh, let me help you with that, Goemon." Ignoring his protestations, she scooted up behind him and began rubbing his shoulders.

"Ah, n-no, it's--Ooh, wow! You're really good at this, Omitsu." Goemon exhaled slowly, relaxed his arms, and closed his eyes.

The waitress giggled and leaned closer to whisper a response. "Well, working in the kitchen so much has made me really good with my hands." She kept massaging for a few more seconds before stopping suddenly as she realized the implications of what she had just said. She gasped and put a hand to her mouth in embarrassment.

Goemon, meanwhile, may or may not have heard and understood what she just said. By this time, he was softly chuckling to himself. "Dehehehehe..."

--

Author's Notes: No animals were harmed in the making of this fic.


	10. Reunion

Yae and Sasuke emerged from below the water's surface. As it turned out, going underwater hadn't done much to help them get away from the giant turtle.

Though Yae felt no discomfort from switching rapidly between being above and below the water's surface, Sasuke found himself unable to even speak most of the time. He would empty his mouth out upon coming back up, but Yae would dive again unexpectedly before he had a chance to beg her to stop.

This time, though, Yae was the first one to speak. "Hold on just a little longer, Sasuke. We're almost there."

Sasuke spit up a large amount of sea water before replying. "Good. I don't even know how I survived this long."

"Uh-oh...Looks like it's getting shallower a lot quicker than I--Oof!" Yae crashed right into a sand bank, and both she and Sasuke were sent tumbling onto the shore.

"Wow..." Sasuke said as he shook his head, trying to get all the gears and other mechanisms in there back in place. He looked around and quickly noticed Yae, who had apparently traded her tail and seashell bra for legs and her normal gi sometime during her tumble, lying face down in the sand. "Miss Yae! Are you all right?"

"Unn...Y-Yeah, I think so..." Yae slowly raised herself up and rubbed her head. Suddenly, there was a deafening screech, causing her and Sasuke to turn back towards the ocean. "Aah!" Still sitting on the sand, she pushed herself back, narrowly avoiding the giant curved beak of their foe as it came crashing down to the ground. "Let's get out of here, Sasuke!" Yae ran away from the shore and in the direction of the nearby forest, making sure to pick Sasuke up along the way.

--

Omitsu sat with her back to Goemon, who had finally managed to calm down enough to fall asleep. She even found herself looking back every once in a while to check on him, but would rebuke herself every time for staring. Growing tired of just sitting there before too long, she decided to get up and polish off her newfound fighting skills.

The waitress swung her weapon, her prized frying pan, methodically and quietly, making sure not to venture too far from Goemon. She brought the pan down in an overhead swing and pointed it at her nonexistent foe with the most threatening expression she could muster. She giggled as she brought it back to her side. "_This is fun. I can't believe I've been missing out on this for so long._"

Suddenly, there were sounds of rustling leaves and cracking twigs somewhere in the dense forest. Omitsu turned towards the noise and readied her weapon. "_All right, bring it on!_" The sounds continued at the same rate, but grew louder. "_Wow, whatever it is, it's not trying too hard to stay quiet, is it?_" She began to grow frightened. Whatever was coming her way, it was clearly very big and didn't care about trying to move through the forest unnoticed.

Omitsu watched the trees in front of her intently. She took several steps back, tripping over Goemon as she did so. They both groaned simultaneously.

"What the heck was that about?" Goemon asked. "And what's with all the racket?"

Omitsu sat up just enough to see Sasuke and Yae emerge from the forest, breathless and covered with leaves. "Huh? Sasuke?"

"Yae?"

"Goemon?"

"Sasuke?"

"Yae?"

"Omitsu?"

"Sasuke?"

"Omitsu? Oh, wait, you're right here..."

Yae blinked as she briefly studied her two friends. It looked as if Omitsu had tried to sit on top of Goemon, but had missed completely and instead used his back as a support for her knees. "Listen, I don't know what you two were just doing here, and frankly I don't care," she said quickly. "We've gotta keep moving."

"Whoa, whoa, slow down, Yae. O-Omitsu will you get off of me, please? Thanks. Anyway, what are you so exci--"

There was a loud roar as several trees were suddenly ripped up by their roots and tossed like rag dolls. "That's what," Yae replied, already guessing what Goemon was going to say next. "And it looks like we've got no choice now."

The earth shook with every crashing step it took. More trees were thrown aside, until the giant turtle came into view. It let out a high-pitched screech when it noticed the four people standing in front of it.

"Wow, he actually seems smaller now," Yae observed. Indeed, what had seemed such a mighty behemoth in the open ocean wasn't even as tall as most of the trees in the forest. "Slower, too. Maybe this'll be easier than I thought."

But Yae had spoken too soon. Though its steps had slowed, the robot's attack movements were still incredibly fast. It swooped its head down, snatched Yae up in its mouth, and tilted its head back, sending the surprised kunoichi down its mechanical gullet.


	11. Internal Struggle

Author's Notes: Hey, I just wanted to apologize for the horrible last chapter. Basically, I was both busy and uninspired, so it ended up being a lot shorter than intended and somewhat uninteresting. I was originally planning to have this chapter and the last one combined, but I eventually decided to end on a cliffhanger, as you can see. Anyway, moving on...

--

"Oh crap, this isn't good..."

For now there were only three fighters left to oppose this monster. All three had watched in horror as their companion had been swallowed whole by the oversized reptile, and all three felt helpless, as if outnumbered, after the loss.

"Well, we can't just stand here," Omitsu yelled, trying her best to appear brave. "L-Let's do this!"

The turtle's shell suddenly lowered with a start. Several holes pointing at an angle opened up on the top of its shell.

--

Saying that Yae was discombobulated by this sudden turn of events would have been an understatement. Tossed repeatedly against the sides of a narrow, slightly curved pipe, she grunted and cursed as she plunged to a quickly approaching metallic floor.

"Ow! Son of a--!" She rubbed and shook her head rapidly before observing her new environment, which she figured to be the "stomach" of the beast. The floor and walls were all made of steel, with wires of various diameters running in every direction. There was also a panel on the wall with the warning "DO NOT OPEN!" painted on it. "_Well, what do we have here? Whoever built this clearly isn't too smart...Of course, this IS probably Bismaru's doing._" She got up and walked to the panel, but fell back down when the floor dropped without warning.

--

Slowly, the head of the turtle retreated into its shell. Before long, all four of its legs and its tail followed suit. Large missiles rose out of each of the holes on its shell.

By the time this whole sequence had finished, however, Goemon, Sasuke, and Omitsu had all moved closer to their foe. The missiles were lobbed well over their heads, and trees erupted in flames before being reduced to ash when they arrived back to Earth.

"Hey, maybe this won't be too bad..." Goemon mused. A large hole at the front of the shell, right behind Omitsu, opened. "Ack, watch out!" He pulled Omitsu to him by the arm, so that she narrowly avoided being chomped by the turtle's emerging head. It snapped at them, but wasn't able to catch them before they got away.

--

"_All right, let's try this again..._"

Yae stood up as soon as the ground seemed more stable under her legs, and took a step towards the panel on the wall. Ignoring the command that was sloppily painted on it, she threw the door open and grinned upon seeing what waited for her on the other side. "_Bingo._"

What she saw inside was some complex circuitry and innumerable wires of all colors stuffed together and running through the entire box and into the wall. Small lights blinked intermittently on the circuit boards, making this a complicated setup. "Well, where to begin?" she wondered aloud. Though Yae wouldn't have considered herself to be much of an expert in mechanics, she grabbed a handful of wires and pulled as hard as she could.

Suddenly, the floor slanted upward sharply. Yae tried her best to hold her footing, but she slipped and slid down what was now a steep hill. She eventually hit the opposite wall with a hushed curse before looking in her hand and seeing some severed sections of wire.

--

The forest battlefield had grown quite a bit within a few seconds. Blackened remains of once tall trees lined the circular border that surrounded the four fighters.

The biggest combatant stood up on two legs for just a second, but quickly came back down on all fours with a screech. The ground shook so hard that Goemon, Sasuke, and Omitsu lost their balance and fell backwards, but they each saw some sparks fly out of the monster's neck.

"Well, that's interesting," Goemon said as he stood up and brushed his rump. The giant turtle shook and emitted smoke from its joints.

"You don't think...Yae?" Omitsu said.

"Omitsu, get down!" Goemon tackled Omitsu to the ground, while the snapping turtle lived up to its name by making another attempt at biting the waitress. The mouth of the beast stayed open in a frightening roar, just long enough for Sasuke to throw one of his Firecracker Bombs inside.

The turtle closed its mouth over the bomb, and stopped suddenly. There was a bang, and the massive reptile hopped as if hiccuping before a small amount of black smoke flowed out.

--

Yae got back to her feet as soon as the floor had once again become the floor. More determined than ever, she dragged herself back to the vulnerable mess of wires in the wall and stared, breathing heavily and waiting a brief moment in case any more surprises would come her way. And though it just so happened that something of the sort did happen, the small bump caused her no severe problems like the first two unexpected events did.

"Third time's the charm!" she told herself as she began furiously ripping at whatever cords and wires she could wrap her hands around. Several seconds of doing this revealed one thick, gray wire hiding behind the mass of smaller ones. Guided by some mysterious hunch that this particular one was of more importance than any of the others, Yae yanked on it with all her might. She pulled as hard as she could, even putting one foot against the wall for extra leverage, but the wire stubbornly remained in the same place. "_Come on, you stupid thing, break already!_" Frustrated with pulling, she removed her katana from its hilt and cut the thick tube in two.

Nothing happened for a few seconds, which puzzled the kunoichi. After all, she was sure something big would happen with the breaking of this wire. She shrugged before deciding to resume her destructive activities, but stopped before even getting the chance to begin when a blast of steam coming out of the flailing tube hit her face. "Mmph!" She closed her eyes and covered her mouth, backing up as she fanned at the foul-smelling gas. She didn't go very far before the floor suddenly slanted upward again, pushing Yae back and sending her sliding into the wall.

"Ouch! Unn..." Though Yae could feel her eyelids growing heavier and her limbs turning to jelly, she hacked at the nearest wire running along what used to be the floor.

--

Sasuke's attack seemed to set off a chain reaction inside the machine that diminished its violent nature. After swallowing the bomb, its eyes darkened and it simply stood there for some time. "Is it...Is it dead?" Goemon cautiously moved toward it, one step at a time, keeping his trusted pipe at the ready.

Without warning, the eyes of the turtle glowed a bright red and its head shot forward. Goemon barely managed to jump out of the way, while the other two reeled in horror and watched as their foe stood up on its hind legs and stared down at them, the intent to kill obvious now more than ever.

The ninjas took several steps back when their opponent took one giant step towards them, but ran off in all different directions when it opened its mouth and a stream of fire flowed out seconds afterwards. "Well, this is no good. I can't get close enough to attack. Sasuke, throw another one of those bombs in his mouth!" Goemon shouted.

"What?! There's no way I can throw it that far!" Sasuke shouted back.

"All right, come over here, then. I'll help you out by throwing you towards him!"

"Are you serious?!"

All the while, Omitsu, safely behind the turtle, was listening to their conversation and coming up with a plan. "_If he can't throw it far enough..._" Her mind went back to the encounter with the monkey, and she suddenly had an idea. "Sasuke! Sasuke, over here!" she screamed, waving her arms at the scrambling robot.

Sasuke dodged a fireball before running between the turtle's tree trunk legs, rolling to avoid being hit by its tail. "What is it, Miss Omitsu?"

"Sasuke, do you think your bomb will explode if I hit it with this?" She held up her frying pan for him to see.

"I'm not sure," Sasuke replied before looking back upon hearing a loud roar and seeing their massive opponent moving towards them. "If you hit it too early, it probably won't."

"Perfect!" She held the handle of her frying pan with both hands and the bottom of the pan facing the turtle. "Well, what are you waiting for? Throw one!"

"What?! But you might--"

"We don't have time! Just light one and toss it over here!" Omitsu's arms were shaking, but she couldn't let her nerves get the better of her. Not now.

Sasuke sighed before doing as Omitsu commanded. The waitress swung at the bomb as it came towards her...Swing and a miss, the Firecracker Bomb fell to the floor and both she and Sasuke jumped back with a surprised yelp. "How could you miss?!"

"Instead of yelling, why don't you throw another one?!" Omitsu retorted. This time, she did manage to send the bomb flying, but it ended up missing its target and exploding next to the turtle's head. It screeched and covered its face, but lowered its arms and glared angrily at the duo that was attacking it. It was apparently unharmed by this pathetic assault, but it slowly opened its mouth while lumbering towards them.

"There! Throw it now, Sasuke!" The bomb came, and Omitsu swung and watched it fly, straight and true, right into the mouth of the beast. The bomb exploded as it came into contact with the flames, and the massive turtle fell backwards. It writhed on its back and stretched its limbs for a moment, but soon contracted them once again and remained perfectly still.

Goemon, standing off to its side, just blinked and looked at the motionless enemy. "Is it dead for real this time?" he asked of no one in particular. There was no response from anybody present, so Goemon took it upon himself to find out once again.

Goemon crept forward, as silently as possible. He was now close enough to reach out and touch it, but the mechanical reptile still showed no sign of life. After taking a deep breath, he did reach out and touch it, but there was still no noticeable movement. "Well, it certainly seems about as dead as it's gonna get. Let's get out of here before it changes its mind."

"Wait, what about Yae?" Omitsu asked.

"Oh, Yae...Right, I almost forgot..."

--

It took several minutes of persuasion to convince Goemon to crawl into the turtle's mouth and down its throat. After all, it was too narrow for more than one person, and there was still a chance that the monster could snap back to life at any moment.

"All right, all right, I'll go..." he grumbled as Sasuke and Omitsu practically screamed at him that it was his duty as a friend and the leader to rescue Yae. "Umm...Are you sure you don't want to go instead, Sasuke? Omitsu?"

"Just get in there!" Omitsu said as she pushed Goemon into the turtle's mouth.

--

A foul odor greeted Goemon's nose after crawling through the metallic tunnel for what seemed like hours. "Ugh!" He covered his nose and mouth and looked for any sign of Yae. There were severed wires all along the ceiling, and many of them emitted sparks that caused Goemon to jump. He fanned at the air with his free hand and eventually saw Yae, slumped in a motionless heap against the back wall. Goemon ran towards her, hoisted her over his shoulder, and headed for the exit as quickly as he could.

--

"Is she...going to be okay?"

Goemon and Omitsu stood looking down at Yae's body on the forest floor, while Sasuke knelt closer to examine her and determine how badly she had been injured. Yae looked as if she was in a deep sleep; her eyes were closed peacefully and she made no noticeable breaths or other movements. It had taken several minutes to drag her back to the outside world, and she had been completely still the entire time.

Finally, Sasuke stood up and gave his report. "It looks like she's still alive, but she's hardly breathing, if at all."

"Goemon, can't you do something to help her?" Omitsu begged. Tears were beginning to form in her large brown eyes.

"Me? B-But what am I gonna do?" Goemon asked in return. "If anybody's qualified to save somebody in this condition, it's Yae, and, well..." He motioned towards the kunoichi.

"Well, you've gotta do something! Otherwise, she'll--" Omitsu shook her head to stop herself from finishing the thought. "Don't you know CPR or something?"

"Well, yeah, but..." Goemon looked back and forth between Yae's lips and Omitsu's eyes.

"Goemon, this is no time to be shy about something stupid like that! Just do it!" She smacked him on the arm and frowned.

"All right, all right..." Goemon said as he knelt down over Yae. He stopped suddenly and looked back at Omitsu hopefully. "Say, why don't you do it?"

"No! Now hurry up, Goemon!"

"Sheesh, fine..." Goemon placed the bottom of his palm below Yae's rib cage and his other hand on top of the first. He pushed down forcefully and brought his hands back up, counting with each completion of this motion. "One, two, three, four..." After several of these, Goemon moved his face closer to Yae's, pinched her nose shut with two fingers, and leaned in, opening his mouth and moving his shaking lips closer to hers. Eventually, his lips had touched Yae's. Just as he was about to breathe some air into her mouth, he heard a muffled scream and felt a strong slap to the side of his head, sending him rolling to the side and rubbing his sore temple.

Meanwhile, Yae sat up and coughed violently, deliberately spitting onto the ground as much as she could manage. Finally, the heavily breathing kunoichi glared at Goemon. "And that's why you don't assume the worst."


	12. Return to Civilization

After getting over the commotion surrounding Yae's sudden awakening, the next important task was finding a way out of the forest. Although nobody had any real idea where the nearest town could be, they did have Sasuke, who could lead them away from the ocean using an internal compass that the Wise Man had so ingeniously installed.

"Say, what time is it?" Omitsu asked after yawning loudly. They had been walking for what seemed to her like ages.

"5:21 a.m." Sasuke replied very matter-of-factly. "We've been traveling for approximately 40 minutes now."

"Hmm..." Omitsu looked over at Goemon as she stepped over large roots in her way. She could see in his eyes that he felt exactly the same way she did: tired and frustrated, willing to trade anything for a warm meal and a soft bed. She also noticed that he was making an obvious effort to stay away from Yae and briefly wondered why he had such an odd habit of keeping his distance from women he had been pushed into being too close to.

"Hey guys, look!" Yae shouted suddenly, pointing ahead and up at the sky. A thin, gray line undulated slightly as it rose higher and higher. "Where there's smoke, there's fire. And where there's fire, there's probably people. Come on!" She ran forward excitedly; apparently, Goemon and Omitsu weren't the only ones looking for a place to rest. The others followed her with just as much enthusiasm.

The ninjas didn't have to travel very far to discover the source of the fire. Though their relief at finally seeing the end of the forest was great, they were overjoyed to see a small building just a short distance away from the forest's edge. "Well, thank goodness for that," Goemon said with a huge sigh. "Come on, let's go inside."

The group moved closer to the building, which had a blue curtain in the doorway. "Must be a shop of some sort..." Yae guessed. "Doesn't look like a very nice place, though." She looked up and read the sign above the door that identified this building as a restaurant and bar. One window next to the door was missing an entire glass pane, and wood was chipped in several places.

"Who cares? They've got food," Goemon said as he moved the curtain aside and walked in, ignoring Yae's pleas to wait. "See, this place isn't so bad," he said after he had been joined by his three friends.

Yae's and Omitsu's first thoughts upon seeing the restaurant were that Goemon clearly didn't have high standards when it came to cleanliness or appearance. There were large piles of dust in each of the corners and cobwebs decorating the ceiling. Most of the tables stood on wobbly legs and the bar that Goemon sat at had splotches of what was, they could only hope, alcohol.

"Oi! Drink!" Goemon shouted as he banged on the counter in front of him.

"Hmm?" The bartender turned around to face his new customer. He wore a solid black shirt with a hood of the same color, which covered all of his face except for his eyes, attached to the back. He was cleaning the inside of a mug with a dirty rag which made the girls' eyes widen in shock. He looked Goemon up and down, and then examined his friends behind him before speaking. "Yeah? What'll it be?"

"Sake. One bottle," Goemon replied. "And make it fast." Surely this wouldn't be a problem for the bartender; there were no other customers in the restaurant.

"Right, a bottle of sake," the bartender mumbled. "What about the rest of you?"

"No thanks" was the unanimous and simultaneous response.

While Goemon sat waiting at the bar, tapping his fingers impatiently on the counter, Yae pulled Omitsu and Sasuke into a huddle and spoke to them in a whisper. "Hey, does this place seem a little...fishy to any of you?"

"What do you mean?" Omitsu asked. "Sure it could use a good cleaning, but it seems normal otherwise."

"I'm not just talking about the upkeep of the restaurant itself, Omitsu. The bartender also seems a little suspicious."

"Really? I didn't notice anything unusual..." Sasuke mumbled.

"Well, maybe it's just my imagination..." Yae continued. She looked back at Goemon, who was just getting his drink. "Anyway, I think we should get out of here as soon as Goemon's done. This place is giving me the creeps." It was certainly easy enough for all three of them to agree on that point.

"Hurry up, Goemon," Omitsu said as she walked up to her friend with the others. "We, um...We'd better keep moving."

"What's the big rush?" he said as he poured some sake from the bottle into a splotchy mug. He took a swig, which was enough to make the ladies wince. "You guys must be exhausted, you should've gotten something to eat or drink." He belched loudly. "Yeah, I think we're gonna be here for a while." Goemon swayed back and forth somewhat unsteadily on his seat, and then toppled over, hitting the ground with a dull thud.

Omitsu and Yae shrieked as all three knelt to make sure he didn't hurt himself. Goemon's eyes were closed and his breathing had become practically nonexistent. "Quick, get the bartender!" Yae ordered as she put her ear against Goemon's chest.

Omitsu and Sasuke stood up and looked around, but there wasn't a single soul in sight. "Sir? Where are you?" Sasuke called out.

"Please, help us!" Omitsu shouted. No response, not even an echo. "This is bad," she said as she knelt down. "There's nobody here!"

"What?! Damn it, I knew there was something weird about this place and that guy!" Yae hissed. "Goemon's in pretty bad condition. My guess is there was something in the drink."

"Well, what are we gonna do about it?" Omitsu asked, a strong panic and a miserable cracking in her voice.

"Well, it might be possible to save him..." Yae began. She took a deep breath and finished her thought. "With CPR."

"You mean...the same procedure we used to save you?" Omitsu asked, blinking.

"Yeah. I've got a hunch that Bismaru's responsible for both this and the monster we fought. If he used a similar type of poison, we need to get Goemon to expel it out of his body, or at least stimulate his lungs somehow."

"Right." There was a long pause. "Well, come on! What are you waiting for, Yae?!"

"What are you looking at me for? YOU'RE the one who's going to be doing this."

"Me?! But I, I don't know how--"

"Don't worry, Omitsu, I'll supervise. Sasuke, you need to see if there's something back there that might be an antidote."

"But how am I supposed to know what the antidote looks like?" Even as he said this, Sasuke walked behind the bar counter and started examining the hundreds of dusty bottles displayed on the back shelf.

"Hold it!" Omitsu raised her voice much higher than any of them were accustomed to, which came as quite a shock to her two conscious companions. She was breathing heavily and looked like she was ready to burst into tears at any moment. "Yae, please...I just want Goemon to be okay..."

"And he will be if you follow my instructions," Yae said as she grabbed Omitsu's shaking hands. She looked deep enough into Omitsu's eyes to see her own desperately panicked expression in the glossy surface. "I promise, he'll be okay. I'll guide you every step of the way, and if it looks like things are going badly I'll take over. You need to be the one to save him. And besides, you should learn this for the next time you come with us."

"N-Next time?" Omitsu blinked in utter surprise. Why Yae would want her to accompany them again was beyond her, but instead of taking an inordinate amount of time to contemplate this, she gulped and nodded. "Okay, tell me what to do."

"All right, he's in good hands. First, you're going to check to see if he's breathing and how his heart is doing. I've already done that, so we'll move on to step two. Put one hand on his chest and move it down until you reach the triangle formed by his rib cage. Don't be shy," she said as she guided Omitsu's hand down. "All right, there we go. The bottom of your palm should rest in that triangle. Now put your other hand on top and push down firmly."

"L-Like this?" Omitsu pushed against his chest and brought her hands back up.

"Yes, that's right. Do that a few more times, but not too much. I'll let you know when you should stop."

"Okay..." She repeated the motion, counting with each completion. "Two, three, four, five, six..."

Yae instructed Omitsu to stop when she reached ten. "Now check for a pulse. Put your ear against his chest and put a finger against his wrist, like this." She picked up Goemon's wrist and showed Omitsu the proper place to check, while the waitress did as instructed with his other hand and lowered her head to his chest. "Well? Is there a pulse?"

"I...I don't think so..." Omitsu's voice was shaking uncontrollably.

"Really? Let me see..." Yae repeated the check on her side, and then sat back up. "Okay, time to try mouth-to-mouth. Are you ready?"

"I...I guess..."

"No pressure, Omitsu, but people usually mess up somehow when they try mouth-to-mouth for the first time. Anyway, here's what you do--"

"Wait, what?! Then you should definitely be the one doing this, Yae!"

"Omitsu, we don't have time! Besides, I already told you you have to learn how to do this. Anyway, first you need to pinch his nose shut."

"Yeah, I remember," Omitsu said as she followed Yae's instructions. She slowly lowered her head towards Goemon's lips, decelerating her descent and shaking more and more the further down she went.

"Omitsu, this is no time to be shy!" Yae shouted. "Just get in there and do it!"

"Fine, fine!" Omitsu took a deep breath and swooped down, locking her lips with Goemon's and breathing as much air into them as she could. She raised her head and repeated the process, but opened her eyes in shock when she felt Goemon's lips kissing hers. She quickly stood up and glared down at Goemon, whose eyes were still closed while the rest of his body was motionless.

"Huh? What happened, why'd you stop?" Yae asked. In her confused panic, she was starting to raise her voice.

"He...He kissed me! I swear he did!" Omitsu pointed down at the presumably unconscious Goemon. Yae stared at her with a skeptical eye. "Goemon, how dare you?!" Omitsu gave him a swift kick in the side.

"Ow! What the hell are you--?" Goemon shook his head, opened his eyes, and looked up. "Omitsu? Was that you who just kicked me?"

"Of course it was! Why wouldn't I do that after you kissed me, you sick--?!"

"Wait...I kissed you?" Goemon blinked, a dazed and confused look in his eyes. There was a slight pause before he chuckled to himself and spoke again. "Heh, I guess I did. Sorry about that, I didn't even realize I was doing it."

Omitsu crossed her arms and turned away. "Hmph. Yeah right, you creep," she muttered.

--

Author's Notes/Disclaimer: I should have said this last chapter, but this fic should NOT, under ANY circumstances, be used as a reference for carrying out medical procedures of any kind. This isn't a reliable source or a substitute for being professionally trained in performing CPR.


	13. All in a Day's Work

Author's Notes: Wow, I've been working on this chapter for a month now, and it's not even that long, compared to a lot of the other stuff I've written. Shame on me. I apologize for that, I'm apparently of sub par intelligence when it comes to stuff in my classes. Anyway, I'm just going to give fair warning that this chapter borders on...risqué towards the end. That's all. Read, enjoy, review!

--

"Omitsu! Omitsu, I'm sorry, I seriously didn't realize--"

"Goemon, I'll never believe that pathetic excuse. Just...just leave me alone."

Goemon sighed and hung his head despondently as Omitsu quickly walked further ahead. A sad frown was painted on her own face as her mind went over the events that transpired at the bar. An indecipherable barrier in her mind kept her from accepting Goemon's explanation of what was really going on in his mind at the time (which was, according to him, nothing).

Yae walked up behind Goemon and rubbed his shoulder as a friendly gesture. "It's all right, Goemon. Give it some time and I'm sure she'll be back to her normal self." The kunoichi knew she would have to be careful about what she said about the incident, so as to keep Goemon from accusing her of somehow starting this whole mess and ruining his relationship with his oldest friend.

"I don't get it," Goemon said as he started walking in the same direction as Omitsu and Sasuke. Yae moved at exactly the same pace as him at his side. "I don't remember anything that happened before she kicked me. And why was she the one giving me CPR in the first place? I mean, shouldn't it have been you--"

"No! O-Of course not," Yae interjected. "If you're suggesting I...passed the buck or something, you're wrong, Goemon! She, uh, she volunteered to do this. Yeah, that's right! Omitsu practically begged to be the one to save you, heh heh..." All of this was spoken at an accelerated rate that was unusual for her, and Goemon watched with a raised eyebrow as she sped up to join Sasuke and Omitsu.

--

The sun had just risen on the eastern horizon, but Goemon, Sasuke, Yae, and Omitsu were far from being rested and refreshed. They trudged through the town, groaning periodically but saying very little to each other. "Ah! Finally!" Omitsu said suddenly. She turned with Yae and Sasuke to face a wooden building.

Goemon ran up to join them and examined the place his friends were. "Heh, I never thought I'd be so happy to see an inn," he said as a grin crept onto his face. "Let's go inside."

As expected, the lobby was empty except for a middle-aged woman with a thin face sitting behind a desk and flipping through a magazine with a cover that promised the juiciest celebrity gossip on it. Even as the four hopeful guests stepped up to the receptionist, she failed to notice and instead continued reading with her head resting on the hand held up by her propped elbow.

Goemon cleared his throat after waiting and receiving no indication that she had seen any of them. The receptionist looked thoroughly irritated and shifted her gaze from the tabloid to the four strange-looking people in front of her. "Excuse me!" she said rudely. She chewed mechanically on a piece of gum, not even letting speech interrupt the rhythm of her chewing. "Can't you see I'm busy? I'll be with you as soon as I can." She went back to reading while the four people on the other side of the desk looked at each other in confusion.

"What was that about?" Sasuke asked.

"Who knows," Goemon replied with a shrug. "I don't know what that woman's problem is."

"Hey, I heard that!" the receptionist shouted suddenly as she slammed her desk. Several more seconds of complete silence passed before there was a rustling of pages and the receptionist, now smiling widely, put her magazine face down on the desk. "Welcome to the Neo Dragon Hotel, the highest rated hotel in town!"

"THIS is the highest rated hotel in town?" Yae repeated. "I don't know about you guys, but I think I'd rather take my chances with the competition."

"Fortunately for us and unfortunately for you, that's not possible at this time," the lady behind the desk said as her grin widened even further. "The only other inn in town is currently under construction. There was an accident yesterday."

"Accident? What kind of accident?"

"Supposedly, one of the columns that held the second floor of the lobby up fell on top of the innkeeper."

Omitsu gasped. "Oh my, how terrible! I hope he's all right..."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Anyway, you can stay here or you can sleep on the streets. It's totally up to you." The receptionist rubbed her forehead as she perused her magazine once again, keeping it open on the desk this time so her face wouldn't be hidden.

"Well, I guess we don't have much of a choice, do we?" Goemon said as he looked around at his companions. "All right, we'll take two Silver level rooms. How much is that?" He took out and opened his money pouch.

"Two Silver Rooms, let's see..." The receptionist tapped her fingers on the desk and looked up towards the ceiling in thought. "I think 800 ryo should just about cover it."

"Y-You think?! And 800 ryo?! What kind of crap are you trying to pull, you thieving--!" Omitsu and Yae had to hold Goemon back with all their strength to keep him from diving over the desk and strangling the woman behind it.

"Just calm down, it's not worth getting so upset about, Goemon!" Yae hissed.

"Seriously! You've really gotta learn to control your temper," Omitsu added.

"Have you calmed down, sir?" the receptionist asked. Breathing heavily, Goemon nodded after a delay of several seconds. She grinned widely before continuing. "Very good. Now, as I said before, this is the only remaining inn in town and we've got comfortable beds and 24-hour check-in. Again, there's also the opportunity of roughing it on the streets, but I promise you you're not gonna find any other type of lodging for miles. So you can do that, or you can pay whatever I say to stay here. It's called a monopoly."

While Goemon silently attempted to repeat the word "monopoly," Yae gave a response on behalf of the team. "Yeah, you win. We'll stay here."

"Great," replied a much more cheerful receptionist. "But because of that little outburst earlier, I'm afraid I have to charge you an extra 10 ryo per room. Sorry, it's company policy," she said with a shrug, though her grin never showed any sign of leaving her face.

"820 ryo..." Goemon gasped. He turned back to his friends. "Well? Aren't you guys gonna help me out here?"

--

Goemon sat on the edge of his bed, his arms crossed and an irritated frown across his face. Though his eyelids were heavy, his furious mind wouldn't let him sleep or even lie still.

"The nerve of that, that...bitch!" he shouted. He looked at Sasuke, sitting against a wall with his hands situated at the bottom of his head, for support. He cleared his throat after waiting about three seconds for a response.

"Huh? Oh, of course. It's horrible that we were cheated like this." Sasuke went back to working on his head.

"I mean, I don't care if there's a...a "monopahry" or whatever the hell it's called. She's got no right to gouge us like that, right Sasuke? Sasuke?" The clockwork ninja was still slouched against the wall, now headless in what Goemon knew was his way of sleeping. "Aw, you're no fun." And Goemon finally lay down and made an attempt to sleep.

--

"Yae...Yae, are you still awake?"

The kunoichi sighed and rolled over so that she was facing Omitsu's bed. "Yeah, I'm awake. What's up, Omitsu?"

"I can't sleep," Omitsu replied with a yawn. "See, I definitely feel tired. But no matter how hard I try I just can't fall asleep."

"What's wrong, Omitsu? Are you anxious about something?" Even as Yae asked the question, she could feel her own eyelids closing shut.

"Well, sort of." Omitsu shifted in her bed. "I'm...I'm worried about Ebisumaru. Yeah, that's probably what I'm so upset about."

"Ebisumaru? Ha, Omitsu, I don't think you have to worry about him. In fact, I'm almost certain he's not the one that's keeping you up."

"Wh-What are you talking about? Of course he is! I mean, nobody's seen any sign of him since we got here. And...he's, uh, he's an old friend..." Omitsu rolled onto her back and turned her head away from Yae.

"Omitsu, I'm sure Ebisumaru is fine. He entered that portal even before Sasuke and I did. So I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you're actually thinking about someone else, a much older friend..."

Omitsu squeaked before covering her mouth with her hand and turning her back completely to Yae. "Wow, it's really late...We should probably be sleeping instead of sitting up all night and talking like this. Good night, Yae." She closed her eyes tightly in a forced attempt to fall asleep.

"Right...Well, if you can still hear me, you should listen to what I'm telling you. I know you and Goemon are great friends, I've watched the both of you ever since I've known you. And I just wanted to say that you shouldn't let this stupid incident end all of that. We can't afford to have any division in the group, but more importantly, I think you two care about each other a lot more than either of you are willing to admit. It's just a hunch, but...but I really think I'm right. And since Goemon's too dense to figure it out on his own...well, I think you know what I'm getting at here." There was silence for a few seconds, and then "Anyway, I hope you take this to heart. Goemon deserves to know how you really feel, and not to be shunned by his oldest friend like this. Good night, Omitsu."

--

It was the middle of the afternoon when the four of them checked out, and the streets were now bustling with pedestrians going every which way, always in a hurry and never paying much attention to Goemon and his friends or anyone else around them. Of course, this was preferable to receiving suspicious stares as they passed, so nobody in the group complained about this aloofness.

"Um, I really hate to bring this up, but..." Omitsu hesitated as she contemplated the potential consequences of finishing her thought. "Does anybody know where we're going?"

Goemon and the others had been walking ever since leaving the inn, towards no place in particular but in the same direction they had been traveling earlier. "O-Of course I know where we're going, Omitsu," Goemon answered. "We're, um...Ah, we're going to find Bismaru! That's right, he's probably with Jurokubei right now."

"Oh, I see." There was another slight pause as they all continued walking. "Um, are you sure this is the right way?"

"I...All right, so I'm not 100 sure we're going in the right direction, but at least I know where we'll end up. Don't worry, something usually comes along that tells us what to do next." Yae rolled her eyes when she realized that Goemon was resorting to this lazy way of adventuring again.

The group continued their march through the town, but stopped suddenly in front of a gray building from which several pleasant aromas emanated. But it wasn't the delightful smells that halted them. It was a voice. "Nyohohoho, yes, that's it..."

"I'd know that chuckle anywhere," Goemon said as he quickly turned and entered the building. "Oi! Ebisumaru! Let's go!"

The others followed him inside and looked around to see a lobby with an oak desk in the middle and four rooms blocked off by semitransparent curtains in the back. Behind one of them was the silhouette of a tall, thin woman standing over an elevated blob, her hands buried inside and thus hidden from view from the ninjas' perspective. A content, nasally sigh was heard from the other side of the curtain.

Growing frustrated with waiting, Goemon stomped towards the curtain while the others slowly and unenthusiastically followed him. "Didn't you hear me, Ebisumaru?" he shouted as he threw the curtain open. "Whoa, what the--!"

The tall woman was actually an intricately designed robot, a bit taller than Goemon and his friends and with a face that was white with several rows of blue slits that traveled horizontally across its face from the forehead to somewhere between where its nose and mouth would have been if it had any. The body started out thin and widened out as it went down to form a metallic skirt with a small set of wheels down below. It didn't seem to notice the four people who had just entered, but continued kneading deep into the shirtless Ebisumaru's back. The Ninja of Justice's clothing, undergarments included, lay in a heap in the corner. "_Damn it, I was really hoping the masseuse would be hot..._" Goemon thought to himself.

"Oh, is that you, Goemon?" Ebisumaru said quietly as he slowly lifted his head. He had a creamy white mask on his face and yellow cucumber slices over his eyes. "I didn't hear you come in, I've just been enjoying myself too much. This is really heavenly..."

"I, I really don't care about that, we don't have anymore time to waste. Just end this massage and get ready to go."

"Aww, but Goemon..."

Knowing his friend better than anybody else, Goemon could already guess what he was about to say. "The answer is no, Ebisumaru. You can't stay any longer, not even five more minutes."

"Fine, fine..." Ebisumaru whined. "Let's see, now how do you do this?" He reached over and hit a few buttons on the panel at the robotic masseuse's waist, at which point its arms retracted into its shoulders and a panel opened in its chest. There was a digital display with three red lines that went round and round three black sections of the display before settling on a specific shape: a 6, then a 0, and finally another 0.

There was a whirring sound before a soft, feminine voice with a metallic quality spoke, slowly and disjointedly. "Your total is 600 ryo."

"6...600 ryo?!" Goemon gasped. "What kind of an outrageous rate are they charging at this place?!"

"Our rate is 50 ryo per hour," the same voice replied, as calm as before.

"50 ryo per hour?" Goemon repeated. "That doesn't sound so bad. How long have you been here anyway, Ebisumaru?"

"12 hours," replied Sasuke, Yae, and Omitsu at the same time.

"Right...Well, anyway, just pay for the stupid massage so we can get out of here." Goemon turned around after he said this only to find that a steel gate had come down over the curtain. "What the--?! Don't tell me we're stuck in here!"

"Oh yeah, I should've mentioned that earlier..." Ebisumaru said as he started getting up. Fortunately, loud protestations from the rest of the group stopped him from going too far. "They told me before I started that I wouldn't be allowed to leave this room after I told the robot to stop until I paid. And that I would have ten minutes after stopping before they send security down here to make me pay. I think I've got about 400 ryo in my wallet, so you shouldn't have to pay too much." He grinned after saying the last statement.

Goemon's hand flew up to his forehead as he groaned loudly. "I should've known...All right, where's your wallet, Ebisumaru?"

"It should be somewhere in that pile of clothes." Ebisumaru pointed to his clothing bunched up in the corner. "Maybe around the underwear or the socks."

"Urk!" Goemon stopped suddenly halfway there. "Umm...Say, do you guys have enough money to cover the bill? Sasuke? Yae? Omitsu?"

"Are you kidding?!" Yae responded. "After we spent all that money at the inn, how could you possibly expect us to have enough to pay for this too? I'd be surprised if we've got enough to cover whatever Ebisumaru doesn't have."

There was a pause. "You should look, Yae," Goemon said finally. "You were always better at that sort of thing than me."

"This is no time to be scared of some underwear, Goemon!" Yae shouted back at him. "Just take a deep breath and look!"

"You know, come to think of it, maybe we should wait for those security people to get here. I mean, they'll probably help us out, and if worse comes to worse I'm sure they'll be easy enough to get past--"

"Goemon, you can't possibly be serious!" Omitsu retorted. "This isn't the time to fight, just reach in there quickly and get the money!"

"Don't worry, Goemon. I'll get it." Ebisumaru pushed himself up off the slab he was lying on, but plopped back down when his friends shouted to stop him.

"Ugh, fine, fine," Goemon complained. He pinched his nose shut with two fingers and used his other hand to feel around Ebisumaru's clothes for a lump that could have been a wallet or purse. "Ah! I think I've got it!" He threw aside the kerchief that Ebisumaru usually wore over his head and his blue gi, only to see some large, mostly white underwear staring up at him from the floor. Even with his nose shut as tightly as he could manage, the putrid odor somehow managed to sneak past his closed fingers and penetrate his nostrils.

"_All right...For the good of the team._" With this thought, he moved Ebisumaru's underwear aside and saw the small pouch that usually housed what little money he carried around with him. Goemon hoped for his own sake that Ebisumaru had decided to be more prudent than usual on this occasion and actually carry a decent amount of money. He picked it up; it felt rather light for a pouch that supposedly held 400 ryo. "Well, let's see what we've got in here..." Goemon opened the pouch and nearly dropped it as he slapped his own forehead in frustration. There was, at most, 200 ryo in there. "I should have known..." he grumbled as he turned towards his friends and held out a begging hand.

--

The silken banners and ornate columns that lined and stood watch on the outside of the grand and majestic building were the first things one would have seen as they approached the palace of The Great Jurokubei, Supreme Ruler of...well, just about everything he could claim ownership of. Of course, the garish decorations would have been the only thing one would have seen unless they were able to get past the security bots that patrolled the halls.

But, if one were somehow able to infiltrate the building, they would most likely follow the sounds of moans and giggles through the convoluted hallways that would eventually lead them to an arched entryway from which light, semitransparent silk curtains hung down. These would prove to be more effective deterrents than the strongest steel bars, for the sight of what lay on the other side would be enough to cause almost anybody to turn and run.

Two people lay in a bed against one of the side walls of the room, completely naked and wrapped in each others' arms. The woman was young, very slender and with black hair that went down to her chest while her bangs caressed both her closed eyelids and the chest of the man next to her. "Oh, Lord Jurokubei...You are amazing..." she whispered.

Jurokubei, tall and muscular, with tanned skin and long, red hair, smiled and stroked the cheek of the woman. "Of course. I always take good care of my 'employees,' " he said proudly. This promise was one of the many things that attracted so many women to this place in the first place. Their job description was simple enough: do anything demanded of them that would physically please Jurokubei. In return, they would receive food and lodgings of the highest quality, which was all most of them needed to be happy (along with their boss, of course).

The girl sighed happily and nuzzled Jurokubei's bare chest for a moment before there was a loud beeping sound from an end table next to the bed. Both of them jumped at the sudden noise, and Jurokubei rolled over and pushed a button on the ringing phone, grumbling the entire time. "What is it?" he shouted. "I thought I told you not to interrupt me during my meetings."

"Lord Jurokubei, there's a very strange, fat man dressed as a nun here asking to see you," a robotic voice responded. "He says it's urgent, and that he has a gift for you."

Another voice on the other end was clearly outraged by this description. "Strange? Fat? Man?! Now see here, Sister Bismaru is a wonderful, beautiful wo--" Jurokubei pushed the button again to cut him (or her) off.

Jurokubei then threw off his side of the blanket, sat up slowly and swung his legs over, placing his feet firmly on the floor and rubbing his forehead. "Wait here, I'll be right back," he said as he stood up and walked to the pile of clothes in the corner.

"Aww, but Boss..." The girl sat up, intentionally neglecting to cover her chest and stomach with the sheet.

"I have to go remind a certain stupid pest why he's no longer welcome here. It won't take long."

"But what man could possibly be more important to you than me right now? Just five more minutes. Please?" she whined, sticking her lower lip out for added irresistibility.

"Believe me, this will only take five minutes. I definitely wouldn't want to stay away from this longer than absolutely necessary." Fully dressed, Jurokubei leaned in and gave the girl a quick peck on the lips. "Just wait here for me to return, okay?" He gave her breast a quick squeeze, at which point the girl squealed, before turning and exiting the room.

--

Bismaru paced back and forth just outside of Jurokubei's infamous harem. It hadn't been that long since they had last seen each other; but now, thanks to this thoughtful gesture on his part, Bismaru was sure Jurokubei would welcome him back with open arms. If not...well, there was always Plan B.

Finally, Jurokubei emerged from the entrance, looking thoroughly irritated but still as handsome as ever in Bismaru's eyes. "All hail the Great Lord Jurokubei," Bismaru called out, going into a deep bow. None of the robots surrounding him joined him in this gesture.

"Leave us," Jurokubei said. The robots, large blue ones with claws and lasers equipped on the front, marched past their master and into the palace. "Stand up, Bismaru," he ordered his former servant.

"Hmm?" Bismaru did as he was commanded, only to feel the back of Jurokubei's hand fly across his cheek and send him spinning back onto the floor with a whimper and a moan. "Please, Lord Jurokubei, have mercy--"

"I'll be blunt. I have no need for the likes of you here or anywhere, you pathetic rat," Jurokubei snarled. "And how dare you interrupt me during a meeting with one of my favorite employees!"

"But, Lord Jurokubei, I've changed my ways, and I even brought a present for your greatness. Behold!" He motioned towards a large curtain that was draped over several sizable lumps next to his signature ship.

"I don't want that tacky thing you call a ship, if that's what you're offering," Jurokubei moaned, rolling his eyes as he remembered just how frustrating dealing with Bismaru really was.

"What? No, no, I'm not offering you the Bismaru Pod, sir. Though, if it will be enough to earn your love..." Bismaru leaned in and batted his eyelashes flirtatiously.

"Just show me what's under the blanket, you idiot."

"R-Right away, Lord Jurokubei." The short, pudgy nun clutched at one corner of the blanket and pulled on it with all his strength. A small smile crept onto Jurokubei's face when he saw what was waiting for him. "I can see by the expression on your face that my honored Lord is quite pleased with this gift. A dozen of the most beautiful women of the Edo period!"

"Hmm, indeed, very nice..." Jurokubei mused as he walked between the cages of women before him.

"I even got the lovely Omitsu for you," Bismaru said with a grin. "Remember her?"

"Oh, I remember her. But I don't see her."

"What?! But...But how can that be?" Bismaru wove his way through the cages as he searched frantically for the waitress.

"It figures you would screw this up, you moron," Jurokubei muttered as he rubbed his furrowed brow. "Anyway, I still want you out of my sight. Leave the girls and get out."

"B-B-B-B-But, Lord Jurokubei...I want you!" Bismaru shouted.

"Well, now I really don't want you around. Why don't you just make like a tree and get the hell out of here?" With that, Jurokubei turned his back to the nun and began making his way back inside. He didn't get far, however, before Bismaru leapt off the floor and put a strange, metallic helmet on his former master's head.


	14. Infiltrating the Palace

Had it not been for the fact that Jurokubei was quite famous in this day and age, the ninjas may have spent months or even years wandering around trying to remember just where his palace was located. With Ebisumaru back on the team, there was now somebody among them who lacked just enough self-consciousness to ask total strangers (who made the members of the group look relatively normal) for directions, while the others would keep their distance and pray that the Ninja of Justice didn't do anything that could be considered offensive.

"Hey, what do you mean I look like a weirdo?! Get back here, you ingrate!" shouted one such stranger after a retreating Ebisumaru. The man, who was wearing a red hat shaped like a dragon's head, shook an angry fist at the pudgy ninja and his friends, the latter of whom were berating the former for performing another socially unacceptable gesture. This was indeed a delicate matter, and the volunteer for the task was the very antithesis of such a quality.

Finally, after several failed attempts, Omitsu and Yae took it upon themselves to ask the next pedestrian they could find for directions. "Excuse me," Yae said to a man leaning against the wall of a store. He wore a pair of shades that covered almost all of the top half of his head. "I'm sorry to bother you, but we're looking for Shishi Jurokubei. Do you know where we could find him?"

"Jurokubei? Yeah, I know where you can find 'im," the man said. He spit on the ground next to him before continuing. "His place is over that way, 'bout a mile and a half." He pointed a slightly undulating arm towards the outer edge of the town. "You're gonna go up into the mountains a bit, but it's a big place so you can't miss it. What do you ladies want with him, anyway?"

"Oh, it's nothing. Anyway, thanks for helping us." Yae and Omitsu bowed and turned to leave, but they each felt a hand on their shoulder as they were about to take their first steps.

"Listen, there's no need to hide the truth from me," the man said as he leaned closer to them. He had a toothy grin on his face, and his breath reeked of alcohol. "You're trying to become part of his 'collection,' aren't ya? I prepare most of the women he has up there, and I can tell just by lookin' at ya that neither one of you is ready for this."

"What?" Omitsu was affronted by this assumption. "I'll have you know, Jurokubei almost named me the most beautiful woman in his little collection!"

"It's not worth it, Omitsu," Yae whispered to her friend. "Anyway, we'll be on our way, sir. Thanks again."

"Seriously, I can help your chances," the mysterious man continued with a click of his tongue. "You should let your hair down," he said to Omitsu. "And you've both got great figures, you could do with a little wardrobe change. You know, show off a little more around here..." He patted Omitsu's stomach and chest to show them just what he meant.

"Eek! Get your hands off of me, you pervert!" Even before she had finished speaking, Omitsu's hand had flown across the man's cheek, sending his head spinning in nearly a complete circle. Despite this sudden attack, he was besides himself in a fit of giggles afterwards.

"Let's go, Omitsu," Yae said through gritted teeth as she led the furious waitress away by the arm. As soon as they were out of earshot, she added "Nice hit."

--

"All right, we're finally here...I think..."

Goemon led the group up a grand set of stairs leading to a stone archway among tall columns and yellow banners with the symbol that Jurokubei had made his trademark: a red manji. "Looks like he's done some remodeling since he supposedly changed his ways," Yae noted. "At least, that's assuming we're here sometime after we defeated him the first time."

The ninjas entered the building to find the place completely deserted. Not a soul in sight, not a sound to be heard. "That's weird..." Goemon said. "For a whorehouse, it's awfully quiet." Omitsu gave him a dirty look at this description.

"I don't see any dust or anything like that, so the place probably wasn't abandoned," Yae said as she examined the walls closely. "Let's keep moving, maybe everybody's just further inside. This is a big place, after all."

All five of them marched through the halls, but there was still nobody to be found. "Say, does anybody else find it odd that there doesn't seem to be any security around here?" Ebisumaru asked. "I mean, Jurokubei's got all these robots, shouldn't they be attacking intruders like us right about now?"

"Now that you mention it, it is a bit strange," Sasuke replied. "I can't help but feel we're walking right into a trap."

"No security bots, no girls..." Omitsu mumbled, rubbing her chin in thought. "I agree with Sasuke, this is probably a trap. But we don't really have any other choice, so keep your guard up, everybody."

No sooner had she finished then a bright yellow laser hit the ground mere inches in front of the ninjas. Goemon pulled Omitsu to the side just in time to avoid being zapped by the next one while Yae took out her bazooka and shot at the source of the sudden attack: two ceiling-mounted turrets that had suddenly appeared about ten yards in front of them. Yae's shots flew straight and true and hit their targets with enough force to knock them to the ground along with two showers of sparks.

"Looks like we spoke too soon," Goemon said to Omitsu as he released her. "Hopefully we don't have another incident like that." A blushing Omitsu nodded as the group continued forward.

Unfortunately, the group had many more similar incidents. Turrets would show up in the floor, walls, and ceiling, and would fire at the ninjas as they proceeded through the halls of Jurokubei's harem. They were all dealt with in a similar manner, however, and thus did not significantly hinder them.

"They must all be deaf if they haven't figured out we're here by now. So where are they, exactly?" Yae wondered aloud.

"Halt!" called a loud, robotic voice after a few more moments of walking. "By order of Lord Jurokubei, you may proceed no further. Turn around and leave this place immediately!"

"Ah. There they are." Yae pulled out her sword as the others prepared their weapons and pointed them at the security robots approaching from the darkness. Their eyes glowed a bright yellow as they glared at the five people who had been audacious enough to come to their master's grandiose abode. "Where's Jurokubei? Tell us quickly or prepare to become scrap metal!"

"The intruders are still here," one bot said to another very matter-of-factly. "We repeat, turn around and leave this place immediately!"

"I guess they weren't paying attention," Goemon said. "Looks like we'll have to do this the hard way." With that, he leapt forward and brought his pipe down onto the metallic head of one of his foes, just barely managing to leap clear over him and land on the other side. The attacked robot reeled back from the blow before quickly spinning around, hitting Goemon with his fist and sending him flying into a wall.

"Ah, Goemon!" Omitsu ran forward and ducked under the arm of one of her opponents on her way to Goemon's side, her friend's safety the only thought running through her mind. "Goemon, are you all right? You're not hurt, are you, Goemon?"

Goemon chuckled lightly at this sudden increase in attention. "I'm fine, Omitsu. Believe me, I've been through a lot worse." Omitsu breathed a sigh of relief as the two of them stared at each other with friendly smiles. This peaceful moment was interrupted when Goemon shouted "Look out!" and yanked her over to the side. Omitsu lay across his lap, where she had a perfect view of the massive fist that was embedded in the wall where her head had been seconds earlier. "Umm...Eheh..." Goemon chuckled nervously as he helped her up. "Come on, it's time to show them what you can do!"

Goemon started the double team attack by bringing the head of his pipe down onto one of the robot's metallic joints. It's body lowered significantly as its arm bent, almost to the point of being ripped in two, giving Omitsu the chance to hit him in the face with an upward swing of her frying pan. The security bot tipped backwards as sparks flew from its joints and its eyes blackened.

Meanwhile, Ebisumaru, Sasuke, and Yae were dealing with their own wave of foes. Ebisumaru, who was known for using a variety of unconventional weapons, held a mallet in one hand and a dancer's ribbon in the other. The latter would be used to cause his opponents to topple over, while the former was used to deliver the final blow. Sasuke and Yae together used their agility to literally run circles around the robots, slashing as they went, weaving between the huge, lumbering individuals of a quickly diminishing crowd.

With Goemon and Omitsu fighting half of the robots and Ebisumaru, Sasuke, and Yae taking care of the rest, it was only a matter of minutes before they had all been reduced to piles of scrap metal, just as Yae had threatened. Their tactics were predictable and ineffective; a laser here, a punch there, but never enough to cause any major injury to the ninjas. In addition, they all refused to use anything vaguely resembling teamwork and always attacked the intruders one at a time.

It was a short battle, despite the number of foes that had attacked them. "That was too easy..." Yae noted, articulating what was surely on everybody's mind. "Don't let your guard down just yet, guys."


	15. The Truth is Revealed

Author's Notes: Wow, sorry this took so long...This chapter was over a month and a half in the making, but things kept coming up that kept me from finishing it. School, family emergencies, computer issues...Anyway, it's finally here. Please read and review.

---

"Oh, Bismaru...You're so wise, and so beautiful..."

Goemon and the others crept along, pushed flat against the wall and moving towards an open archway. "Well, at least we've found Bismaru," Goemon said. "But there's no way that can possibly be Jurokubei. Fine with me." Being at the head of the group, he leapt out first and stood in the doorway. What he saw was such a shock to his system, he nearly fell over. The other four had similar reactions.

The setting was a massive courtyard of sorts, with small pools, flowers of all shapes and colors, and erotic statues made of polished white marble. But Goemon and the others didn't pay the scenery as much attention as they did the people. Bismaru was there, as they had suspected. And holding him against his chest in a loving embrace, with a gray helmet that had two crooked protrusions attached at the top, was Jurokubei. "Mmm, my lovely Bismaru..." he crooned to the peaceful-looking male nun in his arms.

Goemon was so sickened by the sight, he nearly threw up right there on the spot. "What...What the hell..." he finally managed to sputter.

"Hmm?" Bismaru opened his eyes and blinked as he looked in the direction of the voice. Jurokubei, however, continued to stare off blankly at nothing in particular. "Move along, you perverted freaks," he said irritably. "Can't you see we're busy here?"

Yae, only slightly less shocked than Goemon at what she was seeing, finally regained control of her voice. "That doesn't matter. Where are the girls you kidnapped from the Edo period, Bismaru?"

"That's Sister Bismaru to you, you hideous woman!" he sneered. "And I assure you, all of those lovely ladies are safe...for now. I was willing to share my precious Lord Jurokubei with them, but no-o, Lord Jurokubei was not satisfied with my generous gift. So I took him all to myself and I'll watch later as he tortures each and every one of them until I'm the only one left! Oh, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho..."

"You disgust me," Goemon said through gritted teeth.

"In more ways than one, I'm sure," Ebisumaru added. "Your ancestors must be ashamed!"

"To Hell with my ancestors!" Bismaru shouted. "I love Lord Jurokubei!" And with that, he gave Jurokubei a big, wet smooch on the cheek. Everyone else present, except for Jurokubei, gagged in disgust. "I don't know how you fools managed to make it this far in the first place," Bismaru continued in an arrogant tone. "The robot I built, the people I hired..."

"The robot was completely useless," Goemon said. "And if you're talking about the poisoning attempt, we got past that, too!"

"Oh? Oho?" A grin appeared on Bismaru's face and widened with each second. "I bet it was fun for all of you. I'm sure you all...got closer to each other as a result, shall we say. Or, was it just the opposite?" He stuck his lips out and kissed at the air in the direction of the ninjas.

"Wait...What do you mean by that?"

"The poison inside the robot, and in the drinks at the bar. It's my own special blend, I hope you liked it. What did you think of the antidote?"

"A special blend..." Omitsu repeated softly. "So, what exactly was the antidote, Bismaru?"

"You still haven't figured it out, you stupid girl? There's only one way to wake a person up from that deep sleep that came about as a result of the 'poison.' Any ideas what it could be?" Nobody answered; none of them would dare give him the comment that he was hoping for. "No? Well, it's quite simple, really. The cure is a kiss. One kiss is all it takes to instantly revive the victim."

Yae, overcome with guilt over her past reaction to Goemon's seemingly inappropriate gesture, slowly turned to look at a furious Goemon. "I'm so sorry, Goemon..." she whispered in a voice so quiet that even the person it was directed to couldn't hear it.

Omitsu, on the other hand, simply turned her head away from Goemon and looked to the floor. Her insides were twisted and tangled with guilt, but she showed no outward sign of it; closed eyes and biting of the lower lip were the only things outside observers could see.

"Well, regardless!" Goemon shouted, snapping his two female allies out of their daze. "What you've done is inexcusable, Bismaru! We're freeing Jurokubei and taking those girls back to the Edo period. Now step aside!"

"Ha...Ha ha ha...Hee hee, oh ho ho ho ho!" If it wasn't for the fact that Jurokubei was holding him, Bismaru would have been rolling on the floor in boisterous laughter. "Oh, that's funny," he said as he wiped away a tear. "You really think you're in a position to negotiate with me, Sister Bismaru the Beautiful? Well, go ahead and try your best, I'd certainly love to see you fail." He snickered evilly in their direction.

Goemon growled at this affront before charging forward with a bloodthirsty scream. But before he could get close enough to attack Bismaru, he found Jurokubei's right forearm meeting his face instead. Goemon was sent flying straight into a side wall.

The nun laughed in an even more uncontrollable manner than before. "Ha ha, oh, oh my..." he said finally. "That was great, high-quality entertainment right there. Care to try again?" Goemon stood up shakily, holding his head with one hand while he supported himself against the wall with the other. "How about the rest of you?" Bismaru turned to face the other four intruders and stuck his tongue out tauntingly.

"Goemon!" After shouting this single word, Omitsu would have run at Bismaru in exactly the same manner if Yae had been a split second slower in stopping her. Instead, she was forced to search for a long-range weapon on her person, but the only thing she could find was a handful of soy sauce packets. With no other choice, she hurled them at Bismaru as hard as she could.

Ebisumaru, though, would have none of this. With a passionate "Noooo!", he managed to get out of Yae's reach and ran as fast as he could with the hopes of catching as many of the flying sauce packets as he could. He wasn't able to reach them, though, as Jurokubei's arm swung out once again and sent the Ninja of Justice into the same wall as Goemon.

Omitsu's projectiles did manage to reach their target, but despite this Bismaru was once again in hysterics. "My goodness, you people really are as stupid as you look. Anyway, I think we've had enough playing around for now. I think it's time to get serious." And with that, Bismaru pulled out a thick, rectangular remote with a single red button on it. "I'm going to squash all of you like the bugs you are, as I should have done long ago!" He pushed the button, and there was a loud rumbling sound throughout the courtyard.

"Oh boy, this can't be good..." Goemon said as he moved unsteadily on his feet. It didn't take him long after that until he was on the ground.

"Ah! Goemon!" Being sure to stay further than arms distance from Jurokubei, Omitsu made her way to Goemon's side. She tripped right before she got there, however, and ended up sprawled across the face down ninja. Blushing heavily, she tried to climb off but had some trouble because of the rumbling, which was now ear-splittingly loud.

"Guys, this is no time to fool around!" Yae shouted suddenly. Omitsu, Goemon, and Ebisumaru, after spending some time to get at least on all fours, turned their heads towards the center where they could see Bismaru and Jurokubei rising straight up through the air, the former cackling loudly and the latter keeping the same blank expression. Their destination was Bismaru Elegant, hovering high above the ninjas. "Well, I guess it could be worse..." Yae mumbled. "Maybe that piece of junk will end up falling apart on its own."

As soon as Bismaru and Jurokubei were safely inside the unsightly mecha, it zoomed straight up into the sky, leaving its five opponents standing in the courtyard in confusion. "Come on, let's get out of here while we can!" Ebisumaru said as he hobbled towards the exit. The shaking was still quite severe.

"Mr. Ebisumaru, get a hold of yourself!" Sasuke replied in a shrill voice. "We can't leave until we've completed our duty!"

It was at that moment that a beam of light hit the stone archway that served as the entrance to this courtyard. As soon as the dust settled, the only thing left in its place was a pile of rubble that blocked the only way in or out. "Well, it looks like we don't have a choice now," said Goemon, who, along with Omitsu, had rejoined the rest of the group.

Everybody turned around to see the source of the laser that had trapped them here. Bismaru Elegant was there, as expected, but looked bigger and stronger because of some new attachments. What had at one time been a wide skirt at the base of the robot was now an extra torso, complete with a second set of arms and a pair of long, thick legs. The two hands on top, Bismaru Elegant's, each held a long, curved sword that looked as if it could slice straight through the harem from the ceiling to the floor with no trouble at all. The other two hands ended in sharp claws, as did the feet. Bismaru Elegant's eyes now glowed a crimson red, but returned to their normal blue color after a moment. "Oh, crap. This is bad..." Goemon said, stating what was clearly on the minds of everybody else on the ground.

Bismaru Elegant's eyes slowly began turning red once again, and the five people on the ground scattered to avoid the laser that they rightly assumed was coming their way. It then rotated its two swords until they pointed straight downward and thrust them into the ground where Sasuke and Yae had been seconds earlier. "Well, now what are we supposed to do?!" Ebisumaru whined loudly as the robot tried to pull its swords back out of the ground while swinging wildly with its other two arms. "There's no way we can fight this thing!"

Breathing heavily, Goemon shook his head before giving the only answer he could think of. "Just avoid it for now and try to figure something out!" He wrapped his arms around Omitsu's waist and dove out of the way of an incoming metallic foot that tried to stomp down on top of them.

"Heh heh...umm..." Despite the extreme danger she and the others were in, Omitsu couldn't take her eyes off of Goemon. He quickly got off of her and helped her up before dashing towards the other side of the courtyard.

"We're gonna get killed pretty quickly if we can't come up with a plan." Goemon looked back as he and Omitsu ran for safety. He could see the others attempting to do the same throughout the large courtyard-turned-battlefield.

"Goemon, I'm scared..." Omitsu whimpered. He could see the waitress shaking as they stopped at the end of the courtyard.

"I know, Omitsu, I know..." he replied in the most reassuring voice he could manage to make. "Damn it, I wish I was stronger..."

"There must be something you can do. Oh, I wish Impact was here..."

And that's when an idea finally dawned on Goemon. "Impact..." he repeated. Frantically, he dug around in his inside pockets and pulled out the conch shell that was used to summon the giant mecha. Without wasting another moment, he blew into it with all his might. The long, low sound of the shell echoed throughout the courtyard. "Let's hope this works..." he said.


	16. The Last Hurdle

Author's Notes: This chapter is going to feature another convention of mine, something I started fairly recently and will probably use in the future until further notice. Events in the past will be in **bold**, while events in the present will remain in their usual plain text. Enjoy!

---

Omitsu had been through a lot of trying situations in her life. She had been kidnapped. Humiliated. Abused and tormented for no good reason at all. However, she had never been as scared in any of those situations as she was at this very moment. This was a completely new and shocking experience for her; being forced to do battle with an opponent much larger, much stronger, much more imposing and deadly than herself or any of her friends. All she could do in this situation was hold on to Goemon's arm and whimper.

"It's all right, Omitsu..." Goemon reassured her as he watched the freak of nature that was, until recently, Bismaru Elegant swing wildly to try and reach the nooks and crannies that his friends had hid themselves in. "Impact will be here any second, just you wait...And then we'll show this clown who's boss."

In fact, it had been nearly five minutes since Goemon had summoned the giant mecha. He had been promising Omitsu that Impact was on his way ever since, like a parent trying to comfort their sobbing child, assuring them that everything would be all right when they knew the likelihood of that actually happening was slim.

The battlefield was getting progressively smaller. As Ebisumaru, Sasuke, and Yae would find new spots to conceal themselves, Bismaru would eventually grow tired of trying to force them out and would simply destroy their hiding places, forcing them to run to a different area and repeat the process all over again. Fortunately for Goemon and Omitsu, and unfortunately for the rest, Bismaru had not noticed them all the way in the back.

Such luck could only last so long, however. While trying to follow a scampering Ebisumaru, its gaze moved from the Ninja of Justice to his two companions in the back. With no good place for them to hide, Goemon stood in front of the frozen Omitsu and spread his arms out in a futile attempt to protect her from the charging robot.

---

"**Wow, look at 'em go...They're like a couple of animals."**

"**Really, where is their shame? Come on, Goemon, I needed some fresh air anyway." She pulled on Goemon's arm in the direction of an exit.**

"**Huh? Oh, right. Let's go, Omitsu." Goemon turned his back on the young couple, trapped in each other's arms and connected by their lips, and walked outside with his friend.**

**Omitsu, now 14, had become significantly more popular since she first moved into town. Usually she wore her hair up in the complex style of the geisha she hoped to one day become, but tonight it was let down and braided intricately, the strongest act of rebellion she had performed up to this point in her life. It flowed smoothly down to the middle of her back from which it hopped slightly when the wind blew. She chuckled softly as she leaned on the balustrade at the edge of the balcony. "I'm so sorry about that, Goemon. I should've known those two would be going at it like that as soon as I found out they were invited to this party. Now everybody else will probably be doing the same thing before long."**

"**Y-Yeah..." Goemon couldn't help but glance back inside where, as Omitsu had predicted, another couple had copied the first one in their actions.**

**Any teenage male inside the house, or even in all of Oedo, would have loved to be kissing Omitsu like that. However, she had consistently refused all of their advances, being both shy and doubtful of her own abilities.**

**Omitsu smiled at her oldest friend. Her smile was enough to win over anybody with even the slightest bit of softness in their hearts, Goemon not excluded. "You know you're the only guy our age I've met that hasn't begged me to make out with them, right Goemon?"**

"**Yeah, I know," he replied, blushing slightly and rubbing the back of his neck. "It just doesn't feel right to pressure somebody into doing something like that."**

**There was no sound besides the crickets until Omitsu sighed and leaned on Goemon. "Can I tell you something, Goemon?" she said in a voice that bordered on a whisper. "To be honest...it kind of scares me. Doing stuff like that, I mean. A kiss is supposed to be important, so I don't want to give it to just anybody. It needs to be somebody who I really care about, and who really cares about me, you know?"**

"**Y-Yeah, I know what you mean..." As he absorbed Omitsu's innermost thoughts, Goemon couldn't resist stealing glances into the house every so often, where the number of lovers was increasing rapidly.**

---

Bismaru Elegant pulled one of its sword arms back in preparation to strike. Down on the ground, Omitsu clung to the back of Goemon's gi and buried her face in it. This was it; death was imminent.

Suddenly, there was a loud roar from the skies above, and a red blur dropped in front of Goemon just as Bismaru Elegant swung its massive sword at them. There was a sound of metal clashing with metal as sparks flew in the air. Goemon looked down at the floor, where Bismaru Elegant's arm lay motionless under two oversized sandals with rocket boosters at the backs. His gazed moved upward as he examined his gigantic, metallic savior. "I-Impact?"

The giant mecha standing in front of him was about the same size as Impact and had the same basic shape. However, there were several differences as well. He was covered in a layer of dust that, even though it had most likely thinned on his way over here, was thick enough to create noticeable flakes. In addition, an unsightly rust was beginning to form over much of his body, making the familiar colors even more difficult to recognize. Not all the changes were cosmetic, though. Curved blades protruded from the ball-shaped joints in the middle of his arms, and a large jetpack had been added in the middle of his back.

Goemon and Omitsu ran to the side of the newcomer to get a better look at him. As expected, he had the same face as the old, familiar Impact, but there were even more upgrades to be seen on the front. Doors on his chest that assumedly held missiles and a thick, flat glass lens that covered his eye were among them. "Impact!" Omitsu shouted excitedly. "I've never been so happy to see you!"

"Yeah, now let us in, quickly!" Seconds after he said this, Goemon was rising steadily in a green beam of light emanating from Impact's mouth. Omitsu joined him immediately after, and Ebisumaru, Sasuke, and Yae hurried over and followed them inside. They all breathed a sigh of relief; now they would have a fighting chance in this, the final battle.

---

"**You wanna do WHAT?!"**

"**J-Just hear me out, Omitsu..." Goemon put his hands up defensively as a thoroughly confounded and slightly irritated Omitsu stared at him with a raised eyebrow. "Think about last night...Didn't seeing all those people make you wanna try it, just once, just to see what it's like? Aren't you even a little bit curious?"**

"**NO!" This sudden response made Goemon lose his balance and fall back onto the hard street below his feet, and also drew the attention of confused passersby. "Goemon, are you nuts?! I mean, we're best friends, what do you think doing something like this is gonna do to our friendship? Did you even bother thinking about that?"**

"**Of course I did, and it's not gonna do anything bad to our friendship. If anything, it'll bring us closer, and we'll be better off a hundred years from now because of it. Trust me, Omitsu, this is a...a good idea." The two blinked at each other before Goemon took a few small steps towards his friend. "So, whatd'ya say?"**

**Omitsu rubbed her arm and looked down at the ground. "I don't know, Goemon...Honestly, you're starting to sound a lot like all the other guys that have been pestering me to--"**

"**But the difference between me and them is that I've been your friend from the very beginning, while they teased you about your fat head for your first five years here!" Goemon interrupted. Omitsu went silent; her eyes narrowed viciously at Goemon, but, after several seconds of shaking, she turned her back on him with a sigh of exasperation. Goemon released his own sigh before moving to Omitsu's front, where he hugged her and rubbed her back soothingly. Omitsu resisted at first and tried to pull away, but quickly gave in to her fate when she realized that there was no escape from the much stronger Goemon's arms. "I'm sorry I blew up like that, Omitsu..." he said quietly, his embarrassment increasing with each stranger that had stopped to stare at them.**

**Omitsu, whimpering quietly into his chest, shook her head. "I-It's all right, Goemon...You're right, you are different. You're better than all of them put together."**

"**So...I hate to bring it up again, but will you do it?" Even as the words left his lips, he was looking around frantically, trying to scare the expanding crowd away with his glare. "Because if you don't, um...well, one of those other jerks will force you to, and you really wouldn't want that, would you?"**

**Omitsu sniffed and looked up at Goemon. He could see tears just starting to form at the tips of her large, brown eyes. "Th-They will?"**

---

"All right, time to teach this jerk a lesson he'll never forget! Huh, I don't remember this button here..." Without wasting another moment, Goemon pushed the button he was eyeing, one of many, along with levers, flashing lights of all colors, and huge, comfortable leather chairs (which Ebisumaru was thrilled to see upon his arrival in the cockpit), that had been added sometime between the Edo period and this distant future.

On the outside, a door on Impact's chest slid open, and a missile flew out and hit Bismaru Elegant in the face. There was a huge explosion, which the ninjas back inside the cockpit watched in awe. The dust settled eventually, revealing a Bismaru Elegant that was missing part of its left cheek. After blinking several times, Goemon finally spoke. "Wow...That was awesome! This'll be a piece of cake!"

Yae shook her head reprovingly. "Don't get overly confident, Goe--Aah!" Bismaru Elegant had delivered a punch straight to Impact's midsection, shaking the mecha and everyone within.

"R-Right..." Goemon climbed back into his seat and held onto the familiar controls; it was ultimately up to him whether they would win or lose, as the others mainly provided support. He concentrated on what lay ahead, the enemy, their foe; nothing mattered more to him at this moment than defeating him and putting his dastardly plans to an end.

His concentration was broken when Yae shouted suddenly. "Goemon, something's coming in from the left!"

"And the right!" Sasuke added quickly.

"Huh?!" With no time to think of an alternative course of action, Goemon made Impact hold up his arms on either side of his head. Fortunately, they held up better against the missile attack than Bismaru Elegant's face did, with nothing more than a few black marks to show where the damage had been done. "I hope his armor's been improved, too...But anyway, no more fooling around, let's go!"

Shots were fired, punches were exchanged...Impact was by far the more physically powerful of the two, but centuries of neglect had made him slow and jerky in his movements. Bismaru Elegant could easily land several blows and finish with a slash, while Impact could only counter with one huge swing that rarely hit and Goemon and the others tried their best to learn some of Impact's new functions.

Bismaru Elegant brought his sword down towards Impact's head. It was blocked by one of the elbow blades, but before Impact could attack with the other he was shoved into a wall in the back of the courtyard.

"Eek! Goemon, what do we do? We're losing a lot of oil, we'll be doomed at this rate!" Ebisumaru continued whining, but Goemon wasn't paying attention. He scanned the console in front of him looking for a solution, hopefully before his opponent could use a follow-up attack.

"Aha! I've got it!" Goemon said as he pushed the button to release a missile. Silence, and no movement whatsoever, came as a result. "...Well, what a gyp! Stupid piece of junk!" Goemon growled and pounded the console as he stood up in defiance of the surely long-dead Wise Man.

"Goemon, look out!" But Omitsu's warning had come too late. Bismaru Elegant's next punch made a hole where Impact's uncovered eye had been, and right in front of the spot where Goemon was currently standing. Goemon, shaken by the sudden attack that he had once again failed to notice, stood up and was met by an overpowering vacuum to the outside. While Ebisumaru, Sasuke, Yae, and Omitsu held on to their seats, Goemon was sucked out of the gaping hole and plummeted to the ground below.

---

**Even though she had finally agreed to Goemon's proposal, and assured him that she was fine and definitely ready, Omitsu couldn't keep herself from shaking. "It'll be fine...It'll be fine..." She repeated this mantra to herself as she waited for Goemon to arrive at her house. She waited at the designated place, her bedroom, at the designated time, about 8 pm, but she knew Goemon too well to expect him to be prompt. She paced her room, sat down, and got up and paced some more, repeating to herself that all would be well in the end.**

**At a few minutes past 8, Omitsu heard the front door to her house open, which made her heart jump into her throat and get lodged in their so deeply that she couldn't even speak. She could hear her mother and Goemon talking briefly in the foyer before footsteps approached her bedroom, slowly, one by one, her heartbeat accelerating with each step she heard.**

**Finally, the door to her bedroom opened, and Goemon let himself in without a word, making sure to close the door behind him. Omitsu breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly; it would be best to just get this over with.**

"**Are you ready?" Goemon asked quietly. Omitsu nodded, though her vibrating body suggested the contrary, and sat on her bed. "Are you sure? I mean, we don't have to do this now if you're not ready."**

"**Goemon, it's fine," Omitsu said suddenly, which surprised both herself and her friend. "I, I've given it some thought, and you're absolutely right. I want to do this."**

**Goemon nodded and sat down next to Omitsu on the bed, but what seemed like ages passed while they both did absolutely nothing. Despite the conviction of their words, neither of them would dare to make the first move. "Well?" he asked finally.**

"**Well, what? This was your idea, I expect you to start it!"**

"**Okay, okay...Geez..." Goemon shifted slightly. "Should we...I don't know, hold hands or something?"**

"**If you want..." Omitsu held out her hands for him and felt them become clasped in his larger ones. This was followed by even more silence. "All right, this is ridiculous. Let's just do this and get it over with. On the count of 3, all right?"**

"**R-Right...One..." The two of them each took a deep breath. "Two..." They leaned in closer to each other. "Th-Three..." They closed their eyes and leaned in even closer, their lips just barely touching.**

---

"Goemon! No!" As soon as the vacuum had been reduced enough in power, Omitsu ran to Goemon's seat and tried to climb onto the console to peer out of the hole that had just formed, but Yae held her back, both of them screaming along with Ebisumaru and Sasuke, who were in a panic at the sudden loss of their leader. "Yae, let me go or I swear I'll--" Omitsu kicked and screamed the loudest of them all, but to no avail. Yae held on tight, berating her for her foolishness in this situation.

In her fury, Omitsu ended up pushing a small button near Goemon's chair. The lighting inside the cockpit became slightly darker, and a cold, metallic voice rang throughout. "Autopilot activated." Looking to the outside, the group could see Impact fighting Bismaru Elegant on his own, though not very well. Very few blows landed on Bismaru Elegant, and the ninjas always knew when Impact was hit because of the violent shaking it caused.

Yae took advantage of the confusion resulting from this new situation, grabbed Omitsu's shoulders, and turned her so that they were face-to-face. "Listen to me, Omitsu!" she said sternly. "I know you're worried about Goemon; we all are. But you can't get this upset! We need you now more than ever." She had tried her best to keep the speech brief while Bismaru Elegant hammered at Impact. "We'll look for Goemon when this is over. Get in my seat, I'm taking over the controls!" Omitsu sniffed before nodding and doing as Yae commanded, while Yae sat herself in Goemon's old seat and deactivated the autopilot.

Even with limited experience, Yae was able to handle Impact fairly well. He blocked an incoming punch, and then another before pushing Bismaru Elegant back and slicing into the remaining sword arm. It was not cut off completely, but instead dangled by a few wires. Because it was completely useless in this state, Bismaru decided to get rid of it completely. The entire arm fell off, down to the floor after it disconnected from the main body. Yae knew this was their chance, so she had Impact push Bismaru into a nearby column with all his might. The top part slid off and fell, first to Bismaru Elegant's head and then to the ground. "I hope Goemon's okay..." Yae mumbled as she fanned at the now dusty air. "All right, how did he do this again?" She pulled some massive levers back and pushed a button before all of them watched a violent flurry of punches hit their opponent in the face.

And that's when Yae noticed it. A large, red flashing button right next to her hand caught her attention. "_That's strange...I never noticed that one before..._"

"Ooh, pretty..." Ebisumaru said. "Hey Yae, can I push this flashing one here? Pretty please?"

"That's odd...There's one here too," Sasuke said.

"And here," Omitsu added. "It just started flashing a few seconds ago."

Yae looked around and then stared back at her own console. "Hmm, there must be a reason it just started flashing like this...All right, everybody push it on the count of three! One...Two...Three!" Four fists pounded on four buttons, and the minds within the bodies they were connected to all hoped for the best.

On the outside, one of Impact's arms shot out and pinned Bismaru Elegant to the column. The other fist jutted out, and a cylinder rose out of the newly opened section. Several twists and turns of the new part later, Impact was aiming a giant cannon not unlike Yae's bazooka at his foe. A slender pipe extended from the main body of the cannon and went all the way to the glass over Impact's eye.

Back inside, Yae could see Bismaru Elegant from the point of view of the gun on a nearby screen. The message "FIRE WHEN READY" flashed on and off below the image. Yae was only too happy to oblige. With a sly smile, she slammed her palm against the lone button below the screen and sat back to watch the fireworks.

Light built up at the end of the cannon that practically touched Bismaru Elegant. The hearts of every one of the passengers inside Impact beat furiously. The two mechas that had been locked in combat remained emotionless in this decisive moment. Finally, a beam shot out of the cannon and pierced the chest of Bismaru Elegant. Roaring loudly, it created a giant hole as it went straight through its target; the only recognizable part remaining of Bismaru Elegant was the head that had popped off and sunk like a rock to the floor while the rest of its body, nearly burnt to a crisp, followed it. The column it had its back to was reduced to rubble, one of many such architectural casualties of the battle.

Omitsu, Ebisumaru, and Sasuke each gave their own unique brand of celebratory cheer while Yae watched their defeated foe plummet to the ground with a wide grin. "We...We did it...We won!" she finally shouted. She stood up and joined in the cheer before she, as well as the others, came to a sudden realization.

---

**Goemon's lips had just met Omitsu's when he felt a firm hand on his arm pull him off of the bed and out of the room. The shouts of four people, including himself, were mixed into an indecipherable concoction, but the ones that seemed to come from the two adults consisted of such words as "filthy," "bastard," and "whore," while Goemon spent much of his energy shouting "I can explain!" Dragged by the arm by a force more powerful than he could possibly fight against, Goemon soon found his feet leaving the ground as he was tossed onto the street outside of Omitsu's home. He landed with a muffled "Oof" and rolled to face the house that he had been inside mere seconds earlier.**

"**Stay away from my daughter, you slimy rat!" shouted Omitsu's father before he slammed the door shut. But even then, Goemon could hear shouts and screaming from inside the house, with quite a bit of it coming from Omitsu herself. Goemon sat outside, motionless, staring at the house. He had come so close, so close he came within microseconds of literally tasting it. Finally, after several minutes of futilely waiting for the door to open again, he left, the argument inside showing no signs of stopping anytime soon.**

**Days passed, and Goemon saw no sign of Omitsu at any of their usual places. He went to her house a few times, but always saw her father standing outside with clearly murderous intent in his eyes and decided it would be better to turn back. Though Goemon, the lone-wolf type, would never admit it to anyone else, he really did miss her.**

**It was just over a week after they tried to kiss that Goemon saw Omitsu again. He was sitting on the edge of a bridge looking at the river rushing below when he felt a hand on shoulder. Panicked at what he perceived to be a possible attack, he whirled around with a scream.**

"**Eek! C-Calm down, Goemon, it's just me," Omitsu said as she pulled her hand back to defend herself if the need should arise.**

"**Oh, Omitsu!" Goemon said with a sigh of relief. "Geez, don't startle me like that. I thought you were...I don't know, someone else."**

**Omitsu giggled and sat down next to him. "Sorry. I'll be sure to announce myself when I'm a few yards back so I don't scare you again." She reached up and ruffled his hair, a playful gesture that she knew would annoy him just as much as a good friend would be allowed to.**

"**H-Hey, cut it out!" he said as he swatted her hand away. "How many times do I have to tell you not to mess with the hair?" Omitsu giggled again, and Goemon chuckled in response. "Heh, anyway, are you sure it's okay for you to be seen with me? What did your parents say?"**

"**Oh, you know, the usual stupid parent stuff...They were really mad for a while, they wouldn't let me leave the house unless I absolutely had to, and Dad boarded the window in my room. But I talked to them, and it looks like they've calmed down. Dad says he's forgiven you, and he's letting me go out again so I'm assuming we can hang out now."**

"**Phew, that's good..." he sighed as he leaned back on his elbows. He closed his eyes and listened to the river running below and the footsteps stomping behind them.**

"**So...Did you miss me, Goemon?" Omitsu asked sweetly. No response. "Hmm?" She smiled at her friend, and although he wouldn't admit it he began melting inside like he always did when that beaming smile would shine on him.**

"**Heh...Nah, not really, Omitsu." He grinned, and she smirked and slapped him playfully on the shoulder. "All right, maybe a little. But...we probably shouldn't try something like that again for a while, you know? I don't want you to get in trouble again."**

"**Oh...R-Right, y-you're right, uh, about that..." Omitsu's shoulders lowered a bit, but perked up again when she saw some fish jumping in the river. She smiled at Goemon one more time before watching them.**

---

"Ah! Help me!"

"Here, I've got it! All right, ready...go!" Ebisumaru and Omitsu each took one end of a giant slab of rock and lifted it off of the pile. Strewn all over the battlefield were what must have been literally tons of stone from the columns and parts of the ceiling that had crumbled during the battle. None of the ninjas could see Jurokubei or Bismaru when they disembarked from Impact, and they didn't care. The only thing that mattered to any of them was finding Goemon.

The search was frantic and disorganized. All four of them, but especially Omitsu, panicked upon seeing just how much debris there was from the battle. And since Goemon had not been waiting to greet them on the ground, they could only assume that he was buried somewhere under the piles of stones.

Yae, breathing rapidly and red in the face, clawed at the smaller pieces and tossed them behind her. "_Gotta find him...Goemon, please..._" She was about to hurl more of the rocks behind her when she saw what appeared to be three fingertips sticking out of the rubble. She smiled and called to the others. "Guys! I think I found him!" But even before any of them could rush to her side and help release him, she had already cleared most of the debris.

It was indeed Goemon. His face and hands were bruised, parts of his clothes were torn, and Yae guessed that he had some fractured or broken bones. He was motionless. Yae put two fingers on his wrist and opened his eyes. "All right, the good news is he seems to be alive. But--"

"Really? Let me see!" Omitsu shoved Yae out of the way rather forcefully, much to the latter's surprise, and leaned over Goemon. "Goemon? Goemon, wake up! Please wake up!"

"Ow..." Yae rubbed the back of her head, which had hit the ground when Omitsu pushed her. "Anyway, as I was saying, he's probably just hanging on by a thread. I don't think he'd survive if we tried to move him out of here in this condition, but I don't know if there are any medical supplies here that we can bring to him...I'd say our chances of seeing him alive again are pretty slim."

"No...No, that, that can't...I don't believe you!" Omitsu cried. Ebisumaru and Sasuke hung their heads, while Omitsu shook uncontrollably as tears began flowing down her cheeks. "We can't give up on him! Goemon would never give up on any of us, and you know it! Can't we at least look around here for bandages or something?"

"I, I suppose..." Yae stammered. Like Ebisumaru and Sasuke, her eyes were focused on the floor. Seconds later, she shook her head quickly, wiped her eyes, and took a deep breath. "You're right, Omitsu. We can't just sit here doing nothing. We have to at least try!" Ebisumaru looked up and blinked, while Omitsu sniffed and tried to crack a small smile. "Omitsu, can you stay here with Goemon and try to revive him while the rest of us look for medical supplies? You'll have to be careful, Bismaru might still try to attack you."

"I'll be fine, Yae," Omitsu said with a nod. "Just...hurry back. And good luck." She waited no more than two seconds after Yae, Ebisumaru, and Sasuke had left before turning back to Goemon, but all she could do was shake and cry. She slammed her fists on the ground and ignored the pain that came as a result. The emotional scar that was growing inside was much more of a hindrance.

"I, I said I wasn't gonna give up on you, and I meant it!" she whispered to her motionless friend. She looked behind her. Still no sign of Jurokubei or Bismaru, and the others were long gone. With no idea of what else to do, she put one of her hands on top of the other and placed them beneath Goemon's rib cage before pushed down as she counted. "One! Two! Three! F-Four..." Unable or unwilling to go any further, the inundation of tears began again and she rested her head on his chest. No noticeable response from his heart. "All right..." she said through sniffles. "Time for Plan B." She took a deep breath and pinched his nose shut before putting her lips over his and breathing as much air as she could manage into his mouth. Several times she did this, but still no response. Not even a small flinch.

This was almost too much for her to bear. She moaned loudly and buried her face in her hands. "Why? Why did this have to happen..." Her reddened eyes stared down at him as she stroked his hair and rested a hand on his cheek. "Y-You know, Goemon..." she whispered. "There's something I've wanted to do for a long, long time...Ever since that...incident, when we were teenagers, or maybe even before that...Heh, do you remember that, Goemon? How disgusted I acted, and how nervous we both were when we finally agreed to it? I was so mad at my parents that night...Feeling your lips just barely touch mine, it was...it was like magic, you know? But I couldn't tell anybody that, especially not them. And I couldn't wait to get the chance to actually finish what we started.

"There might not be another opportunity after now, so...I'm gonna give it a shot, okay? Heh, and who knows, it might actually work, by some crazy miracle. Wouldn't that be something? It would be like a fairy tale..." She tried her best to smile and stroked Goemon's hair again. "My hero...and so handsome, too. From the day we met you've been so good to me. Fending off bullies, standing up for me around my parents, rescuing me from psychotic villains...Please let me say thanks for all of that and more." She sniffed and wiped her eyes before taking a deep breath. She put one hand on his shoulder and another on his cheek, stared at him for a brief moment, and then leaned in and kissed him, not at all like the one she had given him minutes earlier or several years ago. She put as much passion as she could manage into this one act, hoping in her desperation that it would be enough of a shock to his system that he would suddenly wake up and return the gesture.

Even if it was a long shot to begin with, Omitsu was still sorely disappointed when Goemon refused to move at the end of the kiss. Her breathing accelerated, her face tensed as she tried to keep herself from crying even more and failed, and she covered her eyes as she burst into tears. "No, this can't be! I tried my best and you're still...you're still..." She pounded her fists against Goemon's chest before practically collapsing from exhaustion and just buried her face there and sobbed loudly. "Goemon, please..." she moaned through clenched teeth. "If you can hear me, you have to wake up! You have to! There's something I've been dying to tell you." Still nothing. His eyes remained closed and his chest remained flat. "Well, even if you won't listen," she sniffed, "I'll just tell you anyway. I love you, Goemon. I love you, and I would do anything to see you open your eyes again." Her sobs softened slightly as she rested her forehead against his chest again. Tears slowly and steadily rolled from her eyes and onto his chest.

And that's when the seemingly impossible happened. Maybe it was her confession of love, or the fact that, even while asleep, Goemon couldn't stand the thought of a beautiful woman crying, or maybe it really was the kiss, but Goemon finally responded to Omitsu's pleas. It was just a slight groan at first, but this was more than enough to catch Omitsu's attention. Her eyes shot wide open and she stopped crying in an instant. "G-Goemon...?"

"Ugh..." His arm twitched just a bit, and this little bit of speech and movement ended up exposing him to more joyful shrieks from Omitsu.

"Goemon!" Omitsu lunged for his neck and wrapped her arms around him.

"Ow, ow...OW! Omitsu, that really hurts..."

"I don't care! Oh, Goemon, I'm so happy you're awake! Did you hear any of the things I said while you were unconscious?" She pulled back and looked at him with her usual warm smile.

"Huh? You said stuff while I was unconscious? No, of course I didn't hear you." He rubbed his head while groaning. "Man, that really hurt...So, what did you say?"

Omitsu blushed and looked away. "Um, nothing...Just, you know, begging you to wake up and all that...Oh, it's really great to have you back!" She hugged him tightly once again, much to Goemon's chagrin, and kissed him all over his face. "Goemon...I was...so scared..." The next kiss ended up right on his lips. Goemon tried to resist as best as he could at first, which consisted of raising his good arm and lightly trying to push her away, but gave in eventually and wrapped his arm around her to pull her in close. Omitsu was equally shocked that Goemon responded in such a way, but somehow couldn't bring herself to stop him.

This was it. The moment both of them had been waiting for ever since they were old enough to have a strong enough attraction to each other. And it was as sweet as they had both been hoping it would be for all those years.

The kiss had just started to slow down and decrease in intensity when Goemon opened his eyes. "Urk!" He quickly put his hand on Omitsu's shoulder and gently pushed her away before turning away in embarrassment.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Omitsu asked before turning around herself. "Eek!"

"Aww, come on, keep going! I wanna see more," Ebisumaru whined. He was standing next to a snickering Yae and a clearly confused Sasuke. All three of them had splints, bandages, and medical gels in their arms.

Goemon and Omitsu each blushed deeply. "So, um...how long have you guys been watching?" she asked.

"Oh, since about the time you started your flurry of kisses," Yae said with a grin as Omitsu turned an even brighter shade of red. "But the important thing is that Goemon's awake. Welcome back, Goemon."

"Yeah..." Omitsu turned back to him and smiled.

Goemon smiled back for a brief moment, but then picked something up from his pocket and hurled it somewhere behind Ebisumaru, Sasuke, and Yae. The others gasped and looked around as there was a loud clang and an equally loud "Ow!", their eyes soon landing on a fallen Bismaru. His forehead was bruised where the coin had hit him, and he was groaning and mumbling curses at his foes.

"Wow, nice shot, Goemon," Ebisumaru said.

"Yeah, you've still got it, Goemon," Yae added. She stared down at the male nun. "Look at him. Pathetic, isn't he?"

---

Author's Notes: Sorry about that. Scenes involving any kind of romance tend to be pretty difficult for me (and end up being really cheesy) because I'm not drawing from any personal experience. But anyway, there's only one chapter left after this, so look out for that!


	17. Punishment

While Yae and Omitsu stayed with Goemon to help bandage up his wounds, Ebisumaru and Sasuke had gone to look for Jurokubei. It didn't take them long to find him lying on top of a pile of stones in the opposite corner, unconscious like his ancestor had been minutes earlier and now without the brainwashing helmet. The two ninjas carried him back to their companions, where Yae determined that his wounds were not as severe as Goemon's. All he would require was a few bandages. And so they waited for him and Bismaru to wake up.

Fortunately, Jurokubei remembered all that had happened during his mental imprisonment. He led them to where all the kidnapped women from the Edo period, still in their cages, were being held and promptly released them. "I would never be so cruel to so many beautiful women," Jurokubei claimed with a reproving frown in Bismaru's direction.

"So, what do we do with Bismaru?" Goemon asked. "I'm guessing you don't want him sticking around here, do you?"

"No, not at all!" Jurokubei shouted. All of the ninjas knew that he had a tendency to speak very loudly, so they made sure to keep their distance. "But I have a plan. He'll be so humiliated, he won't even want to crawl back and beg for my forgiveness!"

---

It was a beautiful day outside. A perfect day for a football game. And the pigskin? None other than Sister Bismaru, gagged and tied up with sturdy rope and sitting in the middle of the field with his rear end in the air.

Goemon took in a deep breath of the fresh air. One of his arms was in a makeshift cast, while he rested the other comfortably behind his head. "Ahh...Well, I'm glad it's all over."

"Not quite, Goemon. We've still gotta sit back and watch the game," Ebisumaru added. He smiled and munched on the popcorn that Jurokubei had provided for all of them.

"And then we must return to the Edo period with all the women that Bismaru took," said Sasuke.

Omitsu smiled and scooted closer to Goemon. It hadn't been too long ago that she was in the same predicament as the women that Sasuke had mentioned. "Thanks again for letting me come along," she whispered to Goemon.

Moments later, Jurokubei stepped out onto the middle of the field wearing a football helmet, a red jersey with a gold lion on it, and large, heavy-looking cleats. "Welcome, all!" he boomed. "Today we come to provide due punishment to one Sister Bismaru for the crime of kidnapping and brainwashing the Great Jurokubei. To believe that this demented wannabe nun had the audacity to try and control me, ME, the Great Jurokubei! It is outrageous to believe that one as pathetic as him could possibly succeed in such a ridiculous plan!"

Goemon yawned. "What is with this guy? And look, all the girls are hanging on his every word." Even Yae and Omitsu were staring at him a little too intently for his liking.

Ebisumaru rested his chin in his hand. "And let's not forget that if it hadn't been for us, he would probably be making whoopee with Bismaru right about now."

"...this ugly creature! And now he will be punished once again by myself, the Great Jurokubei!" Jurokubei paused in the middle of his speech to accept the enthusiastic applause that eventually came from every woman and the more mild type that came from the drastically outnumbered men. "But of course, it would be unfair for me to have all the fun. I will first invite my own lovely ladies, all 15 of them, to have a go at this disgusting pig. Ladies?"

"With pleasure, Boss!" said one peppy woman with a perfectly proportioned figure and long, dark hair. She stood behind the nun and pulled her foot so far back that it was nearly level with her waist before swinging it forward straight into Bismaru's butt.

"Wow, that does look fun!" Goemon exclaimed as he excitedly watched 14 similar assaults on Bismaru's derriere.

"Next," Jurokubei continued, "will be the dozen ladies this foul creature stole from the Edo Period and brought here in a misguided attempt to win my favor."

"11 women, Jurokubei," Ebisumaru said, just loud enough for its recipient to hear. "Omitsu would have made a dozen, but there were only 11 women that made it here with Bismaru."

"You dare to correct the Great Jurokubei?!" he shouted in reply. Ebisumaru covered his face in fear. "Anyway, it's time for the dozen ladies from the Edo Period to have their turn. Go!"

And they were more than happy to oblige. Though Bismaru could say nothing, his pained expressions were high quality entertainment for Goemon and the others.

"Finally," Jurokubei said as he heaved a great sigh. "It is my pleasure to give a similar opportunity to the five people who offered their assistance as I single-handedly broke free from this disgusting cockroach's grasp." Goemon and Ebisumaru looked at each other with raised eyebrows. "Yes, we all owe them a small debt of gratitude. They, too, hail from the Edo Period. My honored ancestor Goemon heads this group, which also includes two extremely lovely ladies and two, er...others. Anyway, move it along, I grow impatient waiting here."

Yae was the first to have this distinguished pleasure. She smirked as she gazed upon her victim. "You really are as pathetic as they come, Bismaru," she said as she raised her foot behind her. "In case I don't get a chance to tell you later, I hope you have a nice trip. Yah!" Her foot hit its target straight and true, and Bismaru most likely would have squealed quite loudly if he was capable of doing so at the moment. "Serves you right! That's for making Goemon kiss me! Blech!"

Goemon rolled his eyes at this last comment. "_It couldn't have been that bad, could it?_" he wondered.

Ebisumaru, who was next, clicked his tongue and shook his head. "I can't believe anybody would think this weirdo looks anything like me. Just look, I'm much more beautiful than him!" His three human companions each slapped their foreheads in exasperation before Ebisumaru finally delivered his kick and nearly lost his balance doing so. "Wah! A-Anyway, that's for somehow deceiving people into believing you look like me!" He stuck his tongue out at Bismaru before moving aside for Sasuke.

The clockwork ninja simply stood there, staring at his target confusedly. "Mr. Goemon, I don't understand the purpose of this exercise," he said finally. "Why is everybody having such a good time kicking a large, immobile object?"

"Don't ask questions, Sasuke. Just hurry up and kick him so I can have my chance and we can get out of here." Sasuke shrugged and did as he was told.

It was now Omitsu's turn. She giggled as she stood there, doing nothing else. "Well, this seems very naughty..." she said coyly. "But I suppose I should do this for Jurokubei...and Goemon too, of course." The latter was practically shaking at this point. She reeled her foot back and, with an earsplitting "HIYAAH!", swung it forward so hard that Bismaru flipped forward and onto his back. Omitsu then proceeded to stomp rapidly on Bismaru's face and stomach. "How dare you try to ruin my friendship with Goemon, you stupid, filthy, evil son of a..." She continued her rant even as she was being carried away by Yae and Ebisumaru, who put her down as soon as she was about 20 feet away and had convinced them that she had gotten all of the yelling out of her system. "Meanie," she spat after heavy sighs all around.

Goemon, meanwhile, stared at Omitsu with his mouth agape. "Um...wow..." He tried his best to figure out ways to top that but came up with nothing. "Well, I guess I agree with everything she said," Goemon said at last. As soon as Bismaru had been adjusted to his original position once again, Goemon gave him a kick that made him hop forward several inches.

Despite the conspicuous lack of a watch, Jurokubei looked at his wrist impatiently as Goemon finished up. "Ah, finished at last. Very good! Now it's time for the main event, it's time for the Great Jurokubei to send this mistake of nature far, far away, hopefully never to return again!" He took his position far behind Bismaru and eyed the forked goal post 20 yards in front of the nun. He gave a pretentious wave to both sides (at which his harem girls swooned powerlessly) before running forward and kicking Bismaru high into the air.

The nun's gag had apparently come loose as he sailed away; he managed to shout "YOU'RE AWFUUUUUUUUULLLL!" as he flew off in a perfect arc between the goal posts.

"I'm awesome and you know it! And don't come back!" Jurokubei shouted after him as the entire audience erupted in cheers and laughter.

---

"_Hmm, I should be getting close..._"

Ririka the kitsune studied the directions to Jurokubei's palace that she had obtained from a drunk, perverted old man ("one of my kind," as she had mumbled to herself upon leaving him) and scribbled on a sheet of paper. "_Okay, these must be the mountains he was talking about...Better start climbing, Ririka old girl._" And she was about to do just that when she heard a nasally scream coming from high above her. She looked up and quickly hopped backwards, just barely avoiding being flattened by a blue flying object. An equally nasally groan was heard from somewhere in the as of yet unidentifiable mass.

Ririka leaned in to get a better look. There was no movement, no sound; and its face, if it even had a face, seemed to be embedded in the ground. She poked at it and still received no response. "Hey. Hey you. You okay? You think you can get out of my way?" she asked as she continued to prod it. "All right, you think you can get out of my way, please?" She examined the newcomer and saw that it did in fact have hands, which were bound behind its back. "All right, fine. I'll help you out this one time..." Ririka reached over and untied the rope around this crash-landed person's wrists before pushing with all her might so that they were sitting up. "Now then, what ha--What the hell?!"

The newcomer, who was dressed in a blue nun habit, groaned and rub his head. "Ow...Who the heck are y--"

Before he could finish his sentence, Ririka had wrapped her arms around him tightly, covering his entire face in the process. "Oh, Ebisumaru! It's so good to see you again! But what happened, who did this to you?" She stroked his cheek and stared lovingly into his eyes. "Tell Ririka all about about it, and she'll make everything all better." She no longer cared that this was likely not the Ebisumaru she knew and loved. What mattered more was that he had clearly been abused, and she wouldn't simply watch and tolerate this from the sidelines.

But "Ebisumaru" simply stared at her with a raised eyebrow. "What are you talking about, lady? I don't know who you think I am, but I'm certainly not this Ebisumaru person. How dare you mistake me for someone who is obviously less beautiful than I?! No, I am--"

"Oh my God, you're right, you're not Ebisumaru! Your nose is bigger than his!" Ririka slapped the intruder across the face, sending him spinning to the floor, before furiously stomping on him. "How dare you trick me into thinking you're my precious Ebisumaru, you fat, ugly, load of..."

---

"Well, thanks for everything, Jurokubei."

"No problem! It was undeniably my pleasure to rid us all of that hideous wannabe nun!" Jurokubei grinned widely as he remembered how Bismaru had flown in a flawless arc through the goal posts and off the edge of the mountain.

"Um, right...So, you say this will take us right back to our time?" Yae examined the recently repaired head of Bismaru Elegant, which was functional on its own as a time machine.

"That's right! It will take you to this exact location in the Edo period, comfortably and in a matter of moments. Though you won't be traveling in style, unfortunately..."

"Not to mention it'll be cramped," Ebisumaru piped in. "What with the five of us, and eleven other women we've gotta take back."

"Yeah, well, what can you do?" Goemon said with a shrug. "At least we won't be traveling for long."

Jurokubei heaved a great sigh and turned to face the women that Ebisumaru had mentioned, who were mingling with his own regular harem girls. "I must say, the women of your time period are absolutely exquisite. Any one of you would make a fine addition to the Great Jurokubei's collection of fabulously sexy ladies!" He then moved down the line of women, kissing his own girls passionately on the lips and giving the Edo ladies a suave peck on the hand. Each and every one of them blushed and giggled as Jurokubei passed them, and they couldn't take their eyes off of him for a second, staring at him with a most enamored expression in their eyes, with the only exception being an Edo Period women that swooned and fainted. "It is a shame that you fine creatures could not stay here with me. As I'm sure my own girls have already told you, I treat the women of my collection very, very well while showing them the true meaning of pleasure and passion. It is a most enchanting experience, and I regret that I am unable to show it to you."

Goemon slapped his forehead in exasperation. He could see where this was going, and he couldn't say that he liked it.

"Um, well..." one of the women from the Edo Period said nervously. "I, I don't know about the rest of you, but I would LOVE to experience this for myself!"

"Yeah, me too!" shouted another one.

Suddenly, the woman that fainted sat straight up. "I'd be nuts not to stay with the Great Jurokubei!" Other similar affirmative expressions were expressed by the remaining women, while Jurokubei's girls squealed with delight at the prospect of having even more women to "play with" on their days off.

Goemon, Ebisumaru, and Sasuke nearly collapsed from shock. They had come all the way to the future, only to find that the very people they were trying to rescue were rather stubborn in their resolve to stay there. A frustrating experience, indeed. "Well, look on the bright side," Ebisumaru said hopefully. "At least it won't be as crowded on our way back home."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Goemon grumbled. He sighed heavily. "I should have known this would happen...Well, there's probably no point in trying to convince these people to come back with us. Let's go, guys. Come on, Yae. Omitsu."

But it seemed that even their own female allies had fallen under Jurokubei's spell. "J-Jurokubei? What about us, hmm?" Omitsu shyly held out her hand, and Jurokubei nodded before coming over and giving it a long kiss. Omitsu squealed and hopped up and down excitedly as Jurokubei did the same to Yae. The kunoichi, usually coolheaded when receiving any sort of compliment, especially about her attractiveness, matched her waitress friend in jubilation and action.

"Grr..." Goemon pulled on Omitsu's arm towards the ship. "Come on, we've gotta get going."

"Aww, but Goemon..." Omitsu pouted. "Let Yae and me stay for just a bit. Please?" She put on her best face for begging, an expression with a sweet smile and enlarged eyes which she knew almost always worked with Goemon.

"N-No!" Goemon shook his head and faced her with his eyes closed. "It's bad enough that we had to waste our time coming here to save all of them. I don't wanna have to come back in a day or two just to get you and Yae!"

"Aw, phooey!" Omitsu frowned and crossed her arms. "All right, fine! You never let me have any fun..."

"Glad you finally came to your senses. What about you, Yae?" No response. "Hello? Yae?" She was watching Jurokubei mingle with his newest additions, watching as they rubbed their hands all over his body and he returned the favor. Goemon waved a hand in front of her eyes.

"H-Huh?" she said suddenly as if coming out of a trance. "Oh, is it time to go home already, Goemon?"

"Damn it, not you too, Yae!"

---

The trip back was familiar to all but Omitsu, but still not pleasant. It was exactly as it had been when the group had first chased Bismaru through a portal that he had created after his first defeat at their hands, except that the pod they were taking was quite a bit smaller than Impact. Still, it was a surprisingly comfortable fit, even for five people.

Before they knew it, the orange and yellow lines and swirls of the portal were replaced with green hilltops. All five members of the group stepped out of the pod and stretched as they looked around. "I recognize this place," Sasuke said. "My home isn't far from here."

"Yeah, you're right," Ebisumaru said with a nod. "We should probably pay the old guy a visit. You know, let him know we made it back all right."

---

Sasuke stepped up to the door of the Wise Man's house and rapped lightly on it. There was no response, but Ebisumaru could hear light chuckling when he put his ear to the door. "I'm sure he won't mind if we just go in," he said casually. He threw the door open and skipped inside, followed by the others shaking their heads in exasperation. "Wise Man, we're home!" Ebisumaru shouted loudly.

"Wah!" The Wise Man threw the magazine he was reading into the air and rolled off the couch. He landed on his stomach with an "Oof!" and a groan before Sasuke and Yae rushed over to help him.

"Sorry Wise Man, we didn't mean to scare you," Yae told him. Her eyes fell to the tossed magazine lying on the floor and, being a naturally inquisitive type, Yae bent down and picked it up. "Hmm, what's this?" she mumbled as she studied the cover, which featured a smiling, bikini-clad woman driving an open-top car, eventually reading the titles of the magazine and some of the articles within. "Hot Cars Weekly, Swimsuit Edition. Girls that are guaranteed to get your motor running and raise your personal piston. Look inside for the best pleasure trip--"

"G-Give me that!" a suddenly rejuvenated Wise Man growled as he snatched the magazine out of Yae's hands. "How dare you! Such a bold woman, sticking your nose into an old man's business like that..." He grumbled on like that for several seconds, while Goemon, Ebisumaru, Yae, and Omitsu all snickered quietly at him. Sasuke, however, seemed as confused as he usually did when the others joked about the Wise Man's perversion.

Yae coughed after a few seconds and suddenly became serious. "Anyway, we just got back from the future again. But the women, Bismaru's captives, they all decided to stay behind for some reason." Goemon rolled his eyes.

"Is that so? Very unusual, I wonder why they would choose to stay in such a depressing place..." the Wise Man said as he inched closer to the couch he had been lying on moments earlier. He quickly hid the magazine under one of the pillows before continuing. "But I didn't hear you come back. I hope there's nothing wrong with Impact..."

"Y-Yeah, me too..." Yae gulped and looked at Goemon, who was sweating and chuckling nervously. Omitsu whistled nonchalantly and looked away, while Sasuke shook slightly as a whirred humming escaped his lips.

But of course, the truth would have to come to light at some point. And with Ebisumaru, it was bound to happen sooner rather than later. "Oh, you'd better believe there's something wrong with Impact," he said casually. Each of his four friends looked at him in shock, while the Wise Man eyed him suspiciously. "We were ambushed up north by Bismaru. Yup, I reckon Impact's still a massive wreck up there."

Goemon, Sasuke, Yae, and Omitsu each groaned loudly and started berating Ebisumaru. However, even the sum total of all their voices couldn't overpower what came next. Steam practically shot out of the Wise Man's ears as a fire burned in his eyes, and he seemed to nearly double in size as he shouted. "IMPACT IS WHAT AND WHERE?!"

---

Author's notes: So that wraps it up. Hope you guys enjoyed it, and if you did I encourage you to leave a detailed review. Didn't like what you saw? Then I encourage you to leave a detailed review.

I hope everybody's happy for Goemon and Omitsu. I really do think they would make the strongest couple in the game. But if you feel gypped in any way, and if you want to know what happens to them next, well...I'll make you a deal. If enough people express an interest in it, I'll write an epilogue detailing how Goemon and Omitsu take their relationship to the next level...and perhaps beyond...Maybe? I don't know. Then you'll get to see just how bad I really am at romantic stuff...


End file.
